Disorderly Bears

The five Freelancers sat in the chairs, staring at Arnari.  Despite the chairs being sized correctly – from the Maker gnome to the oversized Silver dragonborn – four of them were still uncomfortable.  And that's just because Fine Branch had brought their own damned chair.

"I have three missions you could do, in addition to finding hippogryph eggs for House Aldous," Arnari said.  "Fuifui and Taliesin of the Orderly Stones monastery need help with a cave bear problem.

"Younger monks herd goats, north of the monastery," she explained.  "One of them has been mauled by a bear.  Fuifui will pay 100gp for the head of the bear."

Fine Branch got a speculative look on their face.  "What if… the rest of the bear is attached," they asked, "and asleep?"  Tai added, "Could stuff it in a penitent cell!"

Arnari's face grew stern. "Do not bring back the rest of the bear!" she admonished them. "There may be more than one bear.  Feel free to demand 400gp per head, if so!"

Everyone forgot about the uncomfortable chairs as they sat up and started calculating how to get all the gp ever out of Orderly Stones monastery.  Arnari ignored it and continued on her recitation of missions.

"Investigate Waypoint Resource, a shipping destination for the Daystar lotion.  That's 150gp each, and transport there and back will be paid by Church of Storms and Church of Ua."  Her audience remained silent, contemplating bear heads.

"Fourth mission: Hanohano of House Ha'aheo  needs more people to go into the Marsh and harass Bullywugs.  They are still hassling herb gatherers.  Hirrathak knows the destination.  This will pay 150gp/person."  She fell silent and looked at them expectantly.

Dryali asked, "What do we know about Waypoint Resource?"

Arnari's description was not uplifting.  "Despite its name, it has a dry, salt environment.  Because of its orbit, there's not a lot of rain."  She paused and speculated, "I think it passed under a salt thalassa at some point, and nothing grew back.  It's canyon-y, with weird rock formations."

The silence that followed was broken with Tai saying, "Bears."  Fine Branch said, "Resource, then bears."  Ana agreed, "Also Resource, then bears."

Tahu broke his silence, "Bear, or Daystar."

Dryali said, "Not marsh," then realized there was a tie.  "Where is Waypoint Resource?"  Arnari said, "It is further in from Duquesne, though not nearly as far as Nadezhda."

Then he asked, "Is there any chance of the [magically polluted] water affecting the bear?"  Arnari replied, "There is some overlap in range, but it's the other fork in the river."

Fine Branch announced, "I would be very happy to take the bear," and Ana looked at them speculatively.  Fine Branch's tails were waving lazily.  "Are you considering, defrauding a Church?" she asked.  Church of Toka is pretty big in Stormhaven, after all.

"Trickster Cleric!" Fine Branch declared, and smiled with their whole head, as only a feline can.  Arnari rolled her eyes as everyone was thus convinced to go after Fuifui's bear, just to see what Fine Branch would do.

As they filed out of her office, Fine Branch carrying their chair, Arnari reminded them all, "The goats are going missing, and an apprentice monk has been mauled."

They decided to swing by the quartermaster before heading up to Orderly Stones.  Arnari's parting comment had set Fine Branch off, and they expressed opinions on goat handling, which sharpened as Tahu said he thought they could use a goat and a trap to catch the bear.

Ana frowned slightly.  "I… have never seen a goat," she confessed.  "Same," Dryali said.  Tai shook his head in wonder as Fine Branch declared, "Goats are only motivated by fear and hunger."

At the quartermaster, Tahu picked up a hunting trap.  Fine Branch bought a kite, and Dryali bought 4 days' worth of rations.  Then they packed up and headed north.  Their travel discussion was dominated by how to fool Orderly Stones into paying for extra bear heads.

The Freelancers arrived at Orderly Stones Monastery two days later after an uneventful jaunt up the northern road.  Fine Branch had brought Nighthawk and was able to watch from above, and nothing had disturbed them for the night, although Ana was unhappy about camping in the open.  Anyhow, they entered the courtyard just about as the Daystar sank beyond the western edge of Duquesne.

The monks Taleisin and Fuifui met them there.  Taleisin was a human with a stern face and tanned skin.  Fuifui was more laid back, a Wind sagani with a do-rag on his head.   "Haaay,

I'm so glad you could make –"  Taleisin cut him short with, "You're fine.  Go cheer Oliver up."

Fuifui objected, looking at Dryali, Tahu, and Fine Branch, "But I remember some of them!"  Taleisin frowned, and Fuifui said, "Oh, okay," and sulked off towards one of the buildings.

Dryali asked, "Who's Oliver?"  Taleisin said curtly, "The apprentice who was mauled."  His posture changed slightly, to include all in his address.  "You are welcome to stay in the monastery tonight.  We'll take you [tomorrow] to where Oliver was mauled."

Tahu asked with some concern, "Did the goats make it here?"  Fine Branch's ears angled back slightly as if to say, as if, and Taleisin replied, "Most did, but Oliver thinks the rest are in bear belly."

Ana said quietly and a little nervously, "Should mention our plan of bear baiting, and not returning a goat."  Tahu nodded and said equally quietly, "We should tell them we're not returning it."

Fine Branch announced, "We require the sacrifice of a goat!" and Taleisin looked at him in horror.  "A sacrifice?  You can use a goat or two to prevent more mauling of apprentices, but ritual sacrifice… I do not think Toka would approve."

Fine Branch countered, "I did not say ritual.  Goat goes in, Bear comes out!"  Tai spoke up.  "I did not know you could polymorph!"

Taleisin clearly thought Fine Branch was serious, and Tai was joking.  He muttered "Should have let Fuifui deal with you," but had the ill grace to do so loud enough for the Freelancers to hear.

Ana reached up and set a hand on his arm lightly.  "I'll make sure it's okay," she assured him.

Fine Branch deliberately misunderstood, and they shrugged.  "We could use the ninja instead of a goat, if you really want," they said ingenuously.  Taleisin snapped, "I did not mean that!  Of course you can take a couple goats!"

He shook his head and calmed down.  "Come, dine with us, then someone will show you to your rooms."

It was not an inn; the rooms were boring monk rooms.  But they were not camping outside, and Ana was happy about that.

Breakfast was better than dinner, and Fuifui joined the Freelancers.  He always drew out his "a" sounds.  "Haaay, it's great to see you," he told them all.  "Thanks for coming to take care of our bear problem.  Poor Oliver, won't get the full use of his arm again."  It was amazing to actually notice, how many "a" sounds were in a simple set of sentences like that.

Fine Branch deadpanned, "Good thing he was practicing unarmed combat."

Fuifui was dumbfounded for a while.  Then he switched and started giving them directions to where Oliver had been mauled.

Ana murmured again, "We should talk to Oliver about where to go, than getting directions from this guy."

Tahu asked brightly, "What's a cave bear doing outside of a cave?"  Ana's face changed.  "Any chance it's an owl bear?"  Dryali interjected, "We've run into them not far from here."

"Maybe Oliver can tell you," Fuifui said, "I'll take you to him."  All of them rose from the breakfast table, and after putting their dishes to be washed, he led them towards the infirmary.

Taleisin saw them crossing over there, and stopped them, "No, no, leave Oliver alone."  He reinforced Fuifui's directions, and described the size of the bear paw.  Dryali still wanted to talk to Oliver, but Taleisin would not hear of it.

Dryali finally said, "Are you sure it's not an owl bear?"  Taleisin hesitated, thinking, then said slightly more naturally, "I did not see the bear, but Oliver had teeth marks, not beak.  Also did not see feathers nearby."

Fine Branch was ready to go.  "Do we need anything else?" they asked.  Dryali said, "Goat," and Taleisin started.  "O yeah!"  He left them to go get a goat, to Fine Branch's irritation.

Dryali wondered about Fine Branch's history with goats.  "If Ana rides the goat, we'll go faster!" he exclaimed brightly.

Fine Branch's face flattened, but they merely said, "No, we won't."  Ana, meanwhile, perked up.  "I like this idea!"  Fine Branch said "No."  Dryali's "Would be great!" was gratingly optimistic.

Tahu was trying to plan.  "Were there two possible locations?" he asked, as Taleisin returned with a goat.

"We lose some goats every season," he informed them, "We can't tell if all goats are from a bear.  But, this area has more, and then you might want to check northwest of it."

Tahu nodded acknowledgement, and then the Freelancers were off bear hunting.  Maybe they should have brought Broo'an.

They really hadn't gotten very far when the taller members of the party realized Ana really did walk more slowly than they did, and Ana realized that tromping along goat-churned footpaths sucked.  Fine Branch was circling above on Nighthawk and not there to object, so, she tried to ride the goat.

The goat, unaccustomed to a rider, didn't move.  Dryali pulled gently on the lead as the others gazed on.  The goat lowered its head and ate some grass.  So Ana tried to use her heels, like it was a pony.  The goat dumped her on the damp ground.

Tai gave both Dryali and Ana a reproachful look, and took the goat's lead, and lead in the party, heading west to go around the mountain between the monastery and the grazing land.  It was very pretty, but had some elevation changes.

By the late afternoon, they reached a mountain meadow, relatively flat.  The goat was happy here, and started to eat the grass.  Tai looked for tracks, and found them all; many goats, a human, another human, a torn up section which was obviously where the attack happened.

And bear tracks.  "Looks big enough to be cave bear size," he said.  The others looked with him, and found no signs of feathers or otherwise unnatural extras for a bear.

Tai pointed.  "It took a goat with it," he observed.  Dryali was startled, imagining the bear carrying the goat away.  "Wow, that's a big bear!" he said.   Tai explained the tracks show it dragged the goat, so big, but not quite that big.

The Freelancers fell into discussing again, how this would work, with a goat, and the bear.  "I have prepared snare," Dryali told them.  Tahu looked at the goat happily grazing nearby.  "How are we gonna keep the goat still for snare, or a bear trap?" he asked, and they all had ideas, none of them good.

The bear tracks led northwest.

Tahu speculated, "We can put the goat attached to the trap, but it might be hurt then."  Ana countered, "Let's follow the bear."

Tahu suggested, "Let's camp and not follow safety protocols.  Then the bear will be attracted to us."  Dryali replied, "If we do, we should get a better campsite, so the bear can only approach by a given direction."

On that note, they started following the bear tracks.  Tai followed them as best he could, while looking for a campsite.  Dryali "helped" him, if one felt his explanations of what Tai should be looking for were at all helpful.

Perhaps they were; Tai found a site a little way up the mountain from the bear tracks, with some bare rock on two sides, sheltered from the wind.  The sides were 15' tall.

They ate dinner and put the leftovers to one side of the camp, which of course led to an argument about what if the goat eats it.  Tahu decided to tether it on the other side of the camp from the food, despite Fine Branch insisting that was simply a good way to ruin a length of rope.  Tahu set up the bear trap near the food, although not between the goat and the food, so the goat would not trigger it.  Dryali set up a snare near the goat.  If the bear came, it would be caught.

They set the watch schedule:  Tahu, Tai, Fine Branch, Dryali.  Tahu kept sharp, watching for the bear, but all was quiet.

When Tai relieved Tahu, he asked, "Why is the goat eating the food?"  Tahu looked, and there was the goat, the remains of the rope hanging from its halter, eating the food.  Tahu shrugged.  "Okay, well, there's no bear!" he told Tai, and then climbed in his bedroll to go to sleep.

The rest of the night was chilly, but quiet.  Dryali, on the last watch, heard an owl hooting as it flew overhead.  The goat was asleep, too, where the food had been piled.  It had eaten all of it.

When everyone arose the next day, Tai looked around for signs of bear, but there were no new tracks.  The old ones were still pretty clear, though, and the Freelancers followed them, northwest, roughly towards the origin of the River of Dreams.

It started to drizzle, and they paused for lunch, but after that, Tai found the tracks had been significantly muddied, and were harder to follow.  After a couple more hours, the way opened up into an alpine meadow.  To the east, right of them, was a cliff with a lot of scree at its base.

Fine Branch and Tai looked around for the bear, and saw a cave bear off to their left.

"Hey guys? maybe there's more than one bear," Fine Branch said.  They flew higher on Nighthawk.  "Five bears!"

Tahu dashed over to the cave bear to their left, drawing his short sword, and slashed it.  The cave bear roared in pain.

• Fine Branch cast spiritual weapon in the form of a trout, on the other side of the cave bear from Tahu.  The trout slapped the cave bear on its snout.  Then they swooped down near Ana, and cast guiding bolt at the cave bear, but somehow instead hit Tahu, who did not appreciate it at all.
  • Tahu uncannily dodged part of that damage.
• Ana climbed on Nighthawk with Fine Branch, slowing Nighthawk down.  She cast magic missile on the cave bear.  The missiles bloodied it.
• The cave bear bit Tahu, piercing his leathers, ouch.  It swiped with its claw, but missed. Then, the other bears  were upon the Freelancers.
  • Another cave bear bit Nighthawk, then tried to swipe at Fine Branch, but missed.
  • A grizzly bear attacked Dryali and missed.
  • The last two bears were bulkier than the cave bears, and attacked Tai.  The first one bit him, but overbalanced on its swipe; the second one bit Tai twice, and missed with its swipe.
• Tai flew into a rage so powerful that tendrils emerged from the ground, waving about in a disturbing fashion.  They grasped at the grizzly bear, and necrosis spread from where the tendrils touched it.  Tai slashed at the first bear that bit him with his greataxe, wounding it, and it roared unhappily.
• Dryali had seen Tai getting bit, and moved next to him to cast cure wounds.  Doing so left him unhappily close to these bulky bears.

Tahu dispatched the first cave bear with his short sword, then drew his second sword and slashed at the grizzly bear, but missed.  He moved next to Dryali.

• Fine Branch dismounted from Nighthawk, and moved behind Dryali.  The cave bear next to Nighthawk rewarded their move by slashing them with its claws.  Then Fine Branch brought the bane of The Cat down on the bears.  They had the spiritual weapon trout smack the brown bear on the snout this time, then dance in front of it, like a trout.
• Ana had Nighthawk attack the cave bear.  Nighthawk struck with his beak, but missed with his claws.  Then she had Nighthawk fly up and to the right, so that the bulky bears were lined up in front of her; whereupon she cast burning hands, sending a cone of fire washing over them.
  • The bulky bear closest to Ana snarled at her and Nighthawk, but they were out of reach.
• The grizzly bear chased Tahu and failed to bite him, but managed to slash him.  Tahu again dodged part of it uncannily.
  • The cave bear, denied Nighthawk, chased Fine Branch, but was going too fast when it tried to bite, and lost its footing trying to turn around.  It stood back up and slashed Fine Branch with its claws.
  • The bulky bear who'd snarled at Ana turned and bit Tai, then slashed at Dryali, who popped shield.
  • The other bulky bear tried to bite Dryali twice, but was unable to get through the shield.  It turned and slashed Tahu with its claws.
• Tai crit the bulky bear who'd hit him, slicing its shoulder badly with his greataxe.  Blood poured out of the wound.
• Dryali cast shatter behind the two bulky bears.  The boom echoing off the mountainside as both were caught in the spell's effects.  The one wounded in the shoulder was overcome and died.  Dryali clambered on top of it.
  • The boom was the last straw, and the goat took off.

Tahu slashed at the grizzly bear with his short swords, killing it.

• Fine Branch moved the spiritual weapon trout to attack the remaining bulky bear, but crit failed, flailing uselessly in the air like a fish out of water.  They turned and punched the cave bear, casting an upleveled inflict wounds on it, and it died.  They moved to the other side of the bulky bear.
• Ana flew to the other side of the bulky bear than Dryali, and cast thunderwave, which also echoed off the mountainside.  The bulky bear slid backwards into Dryali, who had just enough time to think "So, this is how it feels" before he was slammed into the tree and squished by the bulky bear.
• The bulky bear, angry now, swiped at Dryali, but was blocked by his actual shield.  Then it tried to bite Tahu, then Fine Branch, but missed somehow.
• Tai slashed the bulky bear with his greataxe.
• Dryali, about eye level with the bear's asshole, tried to send a firebolt right up it, but he was too shaken from getting squished, so sent it high, almost hitting Ana.

Tahu easily dispatched this last bulky bear with his short swords.

Fine Branch, seeing how everyone was doing, began invoking a prayer of healing.  While they were doing that, Dryali, trying to prove something, tried again to send a firebolt up the bulky bear's ass.  This time, he did it right, and the force literally blew the bear's head off.  Fine Branch glanced at Dryali, but continued their invocation, bringing healing to the injured Freelancers, and also Nighthawk.

Fine Branch started looking for where the bears had come from, while Tai wielded his greataxe to gather the heads of the bears.  Fine Branch found a cave system on the other side of the meadow, and they and Tahu started poking around.

They found the bear lair with no problem, but also found signs of kobolds camping as well.  What was troubling, was no sign of kobold death.  There were kobold sized tools, and some scales.  In one corner, they found a small shrine with a 1' tall ivory-and-bone statue of The Snake.  Fine Branch would not touch it, but Tahu packed up the statue in distaste, and returned to the other Freelancers, where Tai was skinning the bears with expert skill.

"Dryali, do you still have shatter available?" they asked.  "I do," Dryali said.  Fine Branch told the others there were signs of kobolds there, and a statue of The Snake.  Dryali agreed, and went back with Fine Branch to the cave mouth.  The boom of the shatter echoed off the mountainsides again, as Dryali collapsed the roof.  Even a kobold would have to do some clearing to get back in there… or out.

The day still had enough hours left in it to get back to the campsite the Freelancers had used the previous night, so that's what they did.  Since 5 bear heads and skins were awkward to carry, Dryali embiggened his arcane firearm into the 10' pole.  Tai used the bearskins to wrp the heads and suspend them from the pole, which made carrying them less awkward.

The Freelancers arrived back at Orderly Stones late the next day, and were greeted by a relieved Fuifui.  "You're back!  The goat came back this morning without you; we were worried!"  Taleisin heard them and came out into the courtyard.  "How did it go?  Did you get the bear?"

Tai was silent, but picked the heads out of the skins: a grizzly bear, two cave bears, and two bulky bears.  The courtyard stilled as everyone gazed at the bear heads; Taleisin was visibly impressed, and no doubt considering his apprentices encountering these.  He said, "I will of course pay you for this, 400 gp per head, but this is unheard-of."

Tahu pulled the statue out of his backpack, and displayed it to Taleisin, then explained where they found it, the kobold sign, and also how Dryali had collapsed the cave mouth.  At this news, Talesin was even more unhappy.  He took the status, "We'll dispose of it, because we know how to do that," and Fine Branch's ears flicked.

But then it was time to eat!.  Tai rolled up the bear pelts again, and they spent the night at Orderly Stones, but not before recounting the tale in full.

The Freelancers headed back to Cliffshadow the next morning; Taleisin bade them farewell, and also admonished them, with a grimace, "Tell Arnari to know… I need to think about it… might need another mission."

Two days later, they arrived back at Freelancers Tavern.  Each had a bear pelt, worth 20 gp; Tai had decided he needed his made into a cape.  Fine Branch took theirs, swung by Arnari's office, and dropped the uncured pelt in front of her desk, much like a tavern cat would leave the bartender a dead mouse.