Only One Way to Skin a Cat

Damakaios, leader of the Ripa Daneo Freelancers, had an office which was orderly and not cluttered.  His mahogany desk, with many shallow drawers, was carved with geometric patterns, and his matching guest chairs were arranged in an orderly way.  Various light weapons were on display in locked cabinets along the wall.

The chairs were comfortable and had 4 Freelancers seated upon them, facing Damakaios expectantly.  Well, Tahu, the Wind sagani rogue, was eyeing the locks on those cabinets.  Fine Branch and Tai, having returned the prior day from Kavali, sat next to each other, with the nekomata cleric in the chair closest to Domakaios' desk.  Dryali, darkened goggles pushed up onto his forehead, sat in the darkest part of the room.

Fine Branch's tails twitched as he studied Damakaios.  The Pungarehu hanyou looked the same as he always did, hair slicked back below swept-back horns, black leather coat with bronze buttons setting off the bright red skin.  Damakaios opened one of the shallow drawers, reached in further than it appeared possible, and drew out 4 crisp pieces of paper.

First – Amabel, pretty sure you all know the most recent status is a giant shark; Amabels would like it to not be there.

Dryali:  what if we go in and avoid the atrium?
Damakaios:  plenty of doors could do that

House Hadid – more desperate for cheshire hide,  600gp now for a nice pelt.  Pristine is better.

Third mission – Vathia Estia Tunnel Authority – whatever has been attacking travelers at the lower end.

Dryali:  any chance it's a cheshire?|
Tahu:  is this different than the constructs?
Damakaios:  not sure [which] place, and it's different in that attacking people who wander away from the main tunnel.  Might also involve robbery
Fine Branch:  well.

Fourth mission – House Teontra has a disused stable near the edge of their training area.  They are south of Ripa Daneo, and want Freelancers to make it used again.

Dryali <frowning>:  not artisans?
Damakaios:  no the barn is in fine shape; the odd laughter is not.  Mounts nearby shy away.
Tai:  sounds like a horror story.

This was all well and good but they had to decide on a mission.

Tahu:  cheshire and Amabel.
Tai:  mostly good with any of them, but least interested in villa, because no Quelenna with her crocodile.
Dryali:  tunnels or cheshires.  With Tai and Fine Branch along, we actually have a chance of skinning them properly.
Fine Branch:  sounds reasonable
Tai:  will they pay if the pelt is still attached to the cheshire?
Damakaios:  do not bring a live cheshire to House Hadid!  Pelt only!
Tahu:  can we bring one back here?
Damakaios:  NO
Tai:  if I remember size, Cathance or Ana can ride one.
Damakaios:  am dubious about their ability to be tamed.
Fine Branch:  how we feeding that crocodile?
Damakaios:  feed it meat

Everyone tried to remember or figure out what cheshires looked like.  It turned out FIne Branch and Dryali had actually seen one fight in the Hindmarsh gladiator arena.  They looked somewhat like cats, but with 6 limbs and two prehensile tentacles emerging from the behind their head.

That left where to find them.  Cheshires prefer forest or jungle; Damakaios thought southern Commerce would have them.

Damakaios:  go half a day south, you get to Most Serene Boundary monastery.  But you probably want to be a day's travel southeast; two days' southeast is where the hobgoblin ranchers are.
Fine Branch:  I have find creature spell.
Damakaios:  there's a cheshire head on the wall in the lounge.
Dryali:  we've seen one at Hindmarsh gladiators.

Anyhow, Tai had visited Most Serene Boundary and was happy to return, so the Freelancers headed there.

On the way to the monastery, Tai explained to the others that the monks were a good mix of the non-aquatic peoples of Skyway, and the abbot of the monastery was Gregario, a Pterotus.

When the Freelancers arrived and Tai rang the bell, the acolyte at the gate called for Gregario:  "holy shit, four Freelancers just rolled up!"  Gregario came to the door, palms together, and after a side glance at the acolyte, spoke serenely to the Freelancers.

Gregario:  welcome to the monastery, how can we help you?
Tai:  we're looking for cheshires, if you've heard of any in the vicinity recently; and also are looking for a place to overnight, if you have the room to spare.
Gregario:  we do and will care for your mounts, and will ask around.  While that's happening, would you care for sparring or mediation?
Tai:  could use meditation
Tahu:  I could use
Fine Branch:  meditation
<Tai, Tahu, and Fine Branch looked down at Dryali and started laughing.>
Dryali:  sure

Dryali wondered if he should cast darkness, but as Gregario showed them to the space for mediation, he realized it was not led by anyone.  The space was nice, with many cushions; everyone was very quiet.  Across from it, on the other side of the hallway, was the salle, the sounds of sparring oddly muted.

Tai went to the salle to spar before mediation.  Fine Branch went with him, then took up space in the center of the salle to meditate, settling into the cat loaf position, eyes closed.  The sparring monks rolled their eyes and worked around him.

Tahu eschewed the cushions and sat, relaxed, in a nook off to the side.  Dryal sat nearby, crosslegged on the floor.  He fell into a fugue, considering that the band of chaos in the center of Skyway served as the boundary between Serenity and the central storm.  Holding that thought, he tried to cast levitate on Tahu, because it would be funny.  However Tahu ignored it, and one of the more senior monks whispered in Dryali's ear, "Please do not cast in the meditation area."  Dryali nodded once, but said nothing.

An hour passed.  Tai went into the mediation room, and stared into a flame.  Fine Branch opened his eyes, but did not move.  When a sparring monk came too close, he swiped at them, claws out.  The monks had no problem avoiding it, but interpreted this as a challenge, and thus Fine Branch was entertained for the rest of the day.

Dryali, meanwhile, was distracted from his thoughts on the chaos because he started to wonder what it would be like to hang glide there.  He ended up meditating on hang gliding for the rest of the afternoon.

The Freelancers were assigned cells with flat pallets, but that was to be expected.  They joined the monks for breakfast the next morning when an unseasonably early storm arrived.

A couple monks approached, and told the Freelancers they have heard tell of cheshires to the south/southeast; not towards the cattle herds, but more southerly.  The reports were varying in terms of distance, but roughly a day's travel away.  The Freelancers thanked the monks and took their leave.

The storm had not let up, and the Freelancers were promptly soaked through.  But they headed in the indicated direction, and by mid-afternoon the rain had dropped off.  The terrain was rolling hills, and felt like it was sloping downwards; the group was in a broad, but small valley, with a bit of forest ahead on the left, extending over the crest of a hill.

It was still overcast, but only Tai knew which tracks to look for.  He pointed out some slightly washed-out tracks heading south/southeast.  They started to follow the tracks, and Dryali, remembering how cheshires fight, used his All-purpose Tool to learn the cantrip eldritch blast.

Tai led the others along the tracks, which headed towards that bit of forest.  It was a wild area, with many creatures, but all the Freelancers saw at the edge of the forest, 50' ahead, a cheshire, which snarled at them and darted over the hill, to the Freelancers' right.

Fine Branch's ears flipped back, and he looked around for another cheshire, but saw none.  The Freelancers speculated whether the cheshire was trying to act like bait to lure them into a trap, but honestly they weren't concerned.  Dryali made a protector eldritch cannon, which looked like a crab, and it started pulsing out its beneficial effects..

Tai:  the hunt is on!
Tahu:  let's follow it!

Tai started tracking it; he pointed out to the others that it was running.  As they followed it, there were more and more tracks.  Tai was riding Spencer Thundersparks, but moving on the ground with Dryali and Tahu; Fine Branch was on Nighthawk, in the air.

After about 10 minutes, the Freelancers were descending the hill and the forest was thinning out into rocky ground and an open area beyond with some scrub, fallen trees, and two larger ones that had managed to thrive.   A cave was to their left, but never mind that:  there were 5 cheshires awaiting them, 1 each in those trees.  All 5 cheshires were phasing, and hard to look at directly.

Tai moved to the closest cheshire[2], between himself and the cave, but not before Dryali handed the tall Silver dragonborn the protector cannon to put on his shoulder.  He dismounted and raged, causing a crackling nimbus of magic around him.  He swung his axe at the cheshire[2], slashing it and disrupting it, then slashing again at the far easier target.

• The cheshire[2] squalled angrily, turning on Tai, and the tentacles thwapped at him.  One missed, but the other both smacked him and had a point on the end which pierced!
  • The nimbus around Tai zapped the tentacle with just a wee bit of force.
• The cheshire[1] the Freelancers had been chasing ran up to Tai, also trying to thwap him with its head tentacles, but missed.
• The closest cheshire[3] in a tree descended and also thwapped Tai, and while the first head tentacle missed, the second one also smacked Tai and pierced him with a pointy tip.
  • The nimbus around Tai also zapped this tentacle with a wee bit of force.
• The furthest away cheshire[4] dashed up to Dryali.
• The cheshire[5] in the tree to the right descended and ran up to Tahu.

Tahu ignored the cheshire[5] that had run up to him, and instead attacked the one[4] focussing on Dryali, disrupting it with his magical shortsword and wounding it badly with his magical daggar.

Fine Branch dropped a spiritual weapon in the form of a cat toy between the cheshires[4][5] next to Dryali and Tahu, and it whacked the cheshire[4] Tahu had attacked, with force.  He then cast toll the dead on the same cheshire[4].  The necrosis did not seem to affect its hide.

Dryali ignored the cheshire[4] the others had attacked, to cast eldritch blast on the original cheshire[1] which was attacking Tai.  The beam was a barely visible ripple in the air, much like his force ballista.  The first beam missed, but the second beam struck with force, disrupting the beast's obfuscating aura.  Dryali then had the protector on Tai's shoulder pulse out its bolstering effect on the beset dragonborn.

Tai heard shrill caterwauling from the mouth of the cave, and called out, "We're about to have company!"  Then he turned and slashed the disrupted cheshire[1] twice with his magical greataxe.

• The slashed cheshire[1] missed with one head tentacle, thwapped Tai with another head tentacle, and was zapped by Tai's nimbus as a reward.
• The cheshire[3] that had come from the tree missed Tai with its head tentacles.
• The previously wounded cheshire[2] also missed with one head tentacle, and thwapped Tai with another head tentacle.  The crackling nimbus slammed it back with considerable force.
• The cheshire[5] on Tahu also missed with one head tentacle, and thwapped Tahu with another head tentacle.  Tahu did that rogue thing to dodge most of the damage.
• The cheshire[4] on Dryali missed with one head tentacle, and then critfailed.  Maybe the cat toy distracted it, but it failed to recover from its disruption.

Tahu again ignored the cheshire[5] that had run up to him, and again attacked the disrupted cheshire[4] focussing on Dryali, wounding it with his magical shortsword and magical daggar.

Fine Branch had the spiritual weapon cat toy whack the cheshire[4] Tahu had attacked, with force.  He then cast toll the dead on the same cheshire[4], but it avoided the cantrip's effects.

Dryali cast eldritch blast on the original cheshire[1] which was attacking Tai; he didn't have a clear view of the others[2][3].  The first barely-visible beam missed, but the second beam struck with force, again disrupting the beast's obfuscating aura.  Dryali then had the protector on Tai's shoulder pulse out its bolstering effect on the beset dragonborn.

• 5 hungry cheshire kittens bounded out of the cave, squalling as only kittens can.  The adults were clearly more on edge becuase of it.  The Freelancers noticed, with dismay, the kittens were also phasing like the adults.

Tai swung his magical greataxe twice at the disrupted cheshire[1], missing with the first swing but slashing it with the second.

• The cheshire[5] on Tahu again missed with one head tentacle, and thwapped Tahu with another head tentacle.  Tahu did that rogue thing to dodge most of the damage.
• The cheshire[4] on Dryali missed with one head tentacle, and then thwapped the Dark elf good with the other.  Dryali was dismayed to learn the purple mournlode was useless against the tentacular magic.
• The slashed cheshire[1] thwapped Tai with one head tentacle, then crit the Silver dragonborn with the other head tentacle.  Tai's nimbus zapped it each time.
• The cheshire[3] that had come from the tree missed with one head tentacle, thwapped Tai with another head tentacle, and was also zapped by Tai's nimbus as a reward.
• The cheshire[2] Tai originally attacked totally missed.

Tahu killed the cheshire[4] near Dryali with his magical shortsword, then ran over to the badly slashed cheshire[1] and poked it with his magical daggar.  The cheshire[5] he'd run away from struck out with a head tentacle, and missed.  Dryali noticed the reach and called out, "Wow that almost got you, Tahu; you were far away!"  Tahu flashed a grin at Dryali.  "I'm fast!"

Fine Branch's spiritual weapon cat toy remained next to the cheshire[5] that Tahu left behind, so he whacked it with force.  He then cast toll the dead on the same cheshire[5], afflicting it with necrosis.

Dryali cast web to ensnare as many of the kittens as he could; he got 3 of them.  The protector pulsed out another bolstering effect on Tai.

• One of the kittens got out of the web and bit Tahu.  While annoyed, Tahu liked kittens, and his face softened.
• The others either remained stuck or milled around, squalling.  One of them moved up to the cheshire[5] on Dryali.

Tai, still swinging his magical greataxe, killed the cheshire[1] that had crit him, then pivoted to the cheshire[2] he'd started with, and missed.

• This time the cheshire[5] on Dryali missed with one head tentacle, and then critfailed, and it failed to recover from its disruption.
• The cheshire[3] that had come from the tree missed with one head tentacle, thwapped Tai with another head tentacle, and was zapped by Tai's nimbus.
• The cheshire[2] Tai was attacking totally missed.

Tahu ran to his left around the bush, unwilling to move through Tai's axe-swinging space.  The kitten tried to bite him again, but he was fast.  He stabbed the cheshire[2] there with both his magical shortsword and magical daggar.

Fine Branch had the spiritual weapon attack the cheshire[5] on Dryali but it totally missed.  In the face of all these kittens, he started chanting "Cats cats cats cats cats!" to summon his spirit guardians, and Nighthawk flew directly over Tai, about 11' up to stay out of those head tentacles.  Nighthawk prepared to dodge.

Dryali used thunderwave to push kittens back into the web, the boom echoing oddly out of the nearby cave.  One was pushed in.  He also had the protector pulse out another bolstering effect on Tai.

• The kitten pushed into the web got back out, and failed to bite Dryali.
• The kitten next to cheshire[5] miaowed in that way only a hungry kitten can and moved to the spiritual weapon cat toy.
• Another kitten broke out of the web and ran to the closest cheshire[3], miaowing; but it was focussed on the bleeding Tai.

Tai swung his magical greataxe, killing the cheshire[2] he'd previously sliced, then pivoted to the cheshire[3] and sliced that one.

• The remaining cheshire[3] on Tai was burned with holy radiance from Fine Branch's spirit guardians.  It attacked Tai:  missed with one head tentacle, thwapped Tai with another head tentacle, then was zapped by Tai's nimbus, so it came out of that exchange far worse for wear.
• The cheshire[5] on Dryali thwapped him with one head tentacle, then critfailed again, was was still disrupted from its normal phasing.

Tahu dashed to the cheshire[5] on Dryali and stabbed it with his magical shortsword.

Fine Branch's spiritual weapon cat toy whacked the cheshire[5] that Tahu stabbed with force.  He then cast toll the dead on the same cheshire[5], but it avoided the cantrip's effects.

Dryali cast eldritch blast at the cheshire[3] on Tai.  It struck, disrupting it, so the second beam he sent at the cheshire[5] next to him, disrupting it too.  The protector pulsed out another bolstering effect on Tai and Nighthawk

• The two kittens still in the web were still stuck.
• The kitten that was miaowing at cheshire[3] bit Tai and got zapped by his crackling nimbus, which just made it miaow louder.
• The kitten that Dryali had thunderwaved bit the Dark elf, who retained focus on the web.
• The kitten that had run up to cheshire[5] crit Tahu!  The Wind sagani dodged it uncannily, and exclaimed in delight at how well the kitten was learning.

Tai sliced the remaining cheshire[3] attacking him with his magical greataxe.  It growled at him after the first slice, and he did not dispatch it with his second.

• However, it[3] did succumb to the holy radiance of the spirit guardians.
• The remaining cheshire[5] thwapped Tahu with both its head tentacles.  The second one crit as it landed across Tahu's face.

Tahu pierced the remaining cheshire[5] with his magical shortsword, then moved to its other side; the kitten tried to bite him and missed.  "Awww, maybe next time, little kitten!" he said encouragingly.  Then he stabbed the adult cheshire[5] with his magical daggar.

Fine Branch's spiritual weapon killed the last adult cheshire[5] with force.  He turned his attention to the kittens, and... hesitated.

The Cleric of the Cat was inclined to be more charitable with kittens, although they had already shown themselves to be vicious.  Also, perhaps more importantly, he knew bringing back cheshire kittens would possibly cause Damakaios to have a litter of kittens himself.

Fine Branch:  do we capture them?
Tai <dubiously>:  maybe one
Tahu:  yeah
Dryali <incredulously>:  how to transport?
Fine Branch:  bag of holding
Tahu:  will die
Tai:  10 minutes
Dryali:  I have rope
Tai:  will still attack
Tahu:  don't kill them!
Fine Branch:  fine.

Fine Branch cast toll the dead on the kitten that was biting Dryali, killing it.

Dryali drew his rapier and tried to subdue another kitten, but missed.

• One of the kittens got out of the web and ran to Tai.
• Two other kittens tried to bite Tai but missed.  "That's okay, little buddy," Tahu said soothingly.
• The remaining kitten ran past Dryali to Tahu.  Dryali missed with his rapier again, but it failed to bite Tahu.

Tai, still raging, just cleaved the two kittens with his magical greataxe.

Tahu knocked out the kitten that tried to bite him, then sat down next to it, marvelling at it.

Nighthawk flew down to the kitten that remained stuck in the web, and knocked it out with beak & claws.

With no more active antagonists, Dryali cast an uplevel'd cure wounds on the seated Tahu, focussing on his face.  Tahu then broke out his healers kit, using it first on himself, and then on Dryali.

Tai started skinning the dead adults, and Fine Branch cast enhance ability: owl's wisdom on him, since apparently one must be wise to know how to skin a cat.  He ended up with beautiful pelts off the adults, and from the kittens, which were more delicate, they were just okay.

While Tai was skinning, they discussed the two living kittens.  Tahu was trying to figure out how to feed them, and Tai muttered "just feed them meat" as he was skinning, which Tahu misinterpreted as feed the adults to the kittens, so that did not go so well.  Dryali pointed out he had a half-dozen sacks, so they could just keep the cats in the bag; Tahu and Fine Branch each took a sack, and each carefully tied up their kitten.

After he was done with the pelts, Tai started separating the meat bits out from rations, to feed the cats, but then the Freelancers were on their way back to Ripa Daneo.  They did not stop at the Most Serene Boundary monastery because cheshire kittens were anti-serene.  Tahu spent the travel time speculating on whether he should learn some ranger skills, but Fine Branch was just trying to keep his "murder kitty" fed.

They did not let the cats out of the bag when they stopped at House Hadid to collect their fee.  After Anwar examined the pelts, he paid 600gp each for the 5 adult pelts and 240gp each for the 3 kitten pelts.  This payment went directly onto the Freelancer badges.

Damakaios was pleased to collect 93gp each from the four Freelancers as the 10% cut, but was less than thrilled to witness two cheshire kittens crawling around his office.

Damakaios:  NO cheshires.  Even kittens.
Fine Branch:  lookit how cute this thing is!
Tahu:  you can't expect us to leave them there after we killed their parents!
Damakaios:  have never heard of anyone training them successfully
Tahu:  maybe we can reintroduce them into the wild, then
<Damakaios rubbed the base of his horns as if he had a sudden onset of headache.>
Damakaios:  put them in the stable, in secure stalls.

After dinner, he and Naranjos were drinking the Navali mead when he told the halfling deputy about it.  Naranjos, incredulous, went and checked the stables, and there they were.  Of course as an Echo Knight Naranjos was less impressed with their phasing ability than most people.  He returned and they drank some more of the mead, Damakaios still rubbing the base of his horns.

The mead was not helping with Damakaios mentally looping over just how to deal with untrainable cheshires, and he somehow became convinced that Arnari was deliberately trying to disrupt his orderly operations.  After departing the tavern, he made his way back to his office and got out the Sending Stone for Arnari, just drunk enough to forget it wasn't that late in the evening.

Kittens. Why kittens? They are gonna eat the mounts! And what are they gonna do with them? How will they feed them? Who is gonna –

Arnari was not yet fully awake, and also still wound up from the Church of Storms attack.

What? Who has kittens? What is happening?

It was late enough for Arnari to rise anyhow, and she readied herself for the day, considering that Damakaios was drunk and very upset.  She cast sending to Naranjos, figuring he may or may not also be drunk, but was unlikely to be upset.

What has happened that has Damakaios so upset? He said something about kittens? In the stables?

Naranjos replied, slightly drunkenly.

Eheheh, Fine Branch, Dryali, Tahu, and Tai brought back two cheshire kittens. I dunno who is gonna train them. They are in the gryphon stables.

• Tai → lvl6