Clearing Cacklers from House Teyontra Stables

Nix was on a roll.  She'd been on three missions since arriving at the Ripa Daneo Freelancers, and they were all fun and profitable; with yesterday's mission she'd gotten this fabulous parasol of shielding.  She was ready to try another, and had convinced Fine Branch, Quelenna, and Cathance to join in.  The human sat in the front chair in front of Damakaios' desk, watching him expectantly.

Fine Branch hadn't taken a mission since sussing out the problems with House Grayaere's portable vault parts getting stolen.  The nekomata sat near the front right corner of Damakaios' desk, watching it intently, especially the inkwell and blotter, one tail twitching just a little.

Quelenna leaned in the back, her gaze idly scanning the walls and the cabinets with weapons.  The Wild elf was wearing her "workaday" robes, as she'd not been expecting to be pulled into a mission when she came down to breakfast this morning.

Cathance sat in the chair that was Ondar-sized, and kicked her feet.  The Mikumwesauk halfling realized why the nekomata was watching the desk, so she used prestidigitation to put the stylized outline of a tortoise where he was looking.  Then she put a second one at the other end for symmetry, and a third one on Damakaios' blotter for good measure.

Damakaios, who was sitting behind his desk, recruited his patience, then the Pungarehu hanyou opened a thin drawer and reached deep within to pull out the current mission papers.  Fine Branch moved the inkwell to the edge of the desk, trying to be sneaky, but Damakaios saw him and smoothly returned the inkwell to its spot as he brought out the mission papers.

Fine Branch's tail waved back and forth more vigorously, as Damakaios started reading out the missions.

First one - Amabel Villa, more shenanigans yesterday, more stuff <here, he nodded at Nix' parasol>, more gross undead.  250gp/person, whatever you find you keep, as long as no structural damage.

Fine Branch:  cosmetic damage is okay?
<Damakaios re-read the paper to see.>
Fine Branch:  we've been there
<Damakaios died a little inside, but all the others saw was: visibly recruiting patience.>
Damakaios:  if they wanted to rebuild, they'd raze it
Quelenna:  why didn't they?
Damakaios:  well, you've noticed its integrity; they want that

Two things for House Hadid:  phase spider venom, trolls' blood.

Cathance:  how big are trolls?
Damakaios <eyes wide>:  large
Cathance:  what do they eat?
Damakaios:  anything that holds still for long enough.
<Cathance was displeased.>

Next one is House Teontra's disused stable.  The mounts don't go near and there is faint laughter.  Relocate whatever it is, off the property.

Nix:  we can't just relocate it to their house?
Damakaios:  no, then they can't live there.
Quelenna:  awww

Next mission – High Abbot Gregario wants Freelancers to investigate death of monks.  When this mission was reported, two had died.  He wants to know what happened, how did they die?

Cathance:  what is the manner of their passing?
Damakaios:  dunno.  They were not stabbed or anything.  Appear to have just wasted away.
Quelenna:  I have Questions.  <pause>  I did not know such a thing was possible, that you could just poof away.
Damakaios:  they didn't vanish; they just … stopped living.
Quelenna:  I'm not sure that's any better!
Cathance:  is that what wraiths do?

Last mission – track that owlbear that disappeared.  From the Mayor of Bati Kasabasi.  Three of you know where to go.

Fine Branch looked around at the others, who noticed he was kind of scratched up from the cheshire kits in the stables.

Nix:  would like another crack at Amabel Villa, but als that haunted stable.
Fine Branch:  those two are also my preference.
Quelenna:  I'm just out for a good time
Cathance:  am really curious about the stable.
<Damakaios leaned back in his chair, palms together, fingers under chin.>
Damakaios:  House Teontra is still above the crater, but is out a ways to the east of main Ripa Daneo.  They do not breed the flying mounts, but they train them.  The have stables & barns for hippogryphs, pegasi, gryphons (2 each for those), also manticore, wyvern, pteranodon, and quitsacoatl.  Stables for ground mounts, etc.
<Damakaios leaned forward again, scanning the mission papers.>
Damakaios:  the person who posted the mission is Malakas, a half elf… the House is half-elves and Wind sagani.
Cathance:  would it be advantageous or disadvantageous to bring our own mounts, because Damakaios mentioned animals afraid.
Damakaios <thought a moment>:  they will not help with any fight there, just transport.  The House will have a place to put them.

The group decided to take this mission and fly there, more from curiosity than anything else.

It took about an hour to fly to House Teontra's compound, with Quelenna riding pillion behind Fine Branch on Nighthawk and giving directions.  As they approached, they saw Teontra Villa, which was big… really big.  Surrounding it on three sides were fields for training, some lined with trees supporting nets, for training flying mounts.  Near the villa was a clearly demarcated area for visitors on flying mounts to land, so the Freelancers landed there.

They'd been seen, of course; 4 trainers were waiting for them.  As the Freelancers dismounted, Quelenna was greeted by the trainers, two of which she knew:  a Wind sagani, Helios, who was Malakas' brother; and a half-orc, Miantoro.  This latter person with the two others took the Freelancers' mounts to stable them, while Helios addressed the matter at hand.

Helios:  happy you've come to help us deal with kind of terrifying weird barn.
Cathance:  how long has it been happening?
Helios:  the barn was disused for a couple years.  We tried to clean it out to use for pegasi, and the giggles were disturbing.  The mounts were not going near, because of cackling.
Cathance <carefully>:  are people scared of the giggling and cackling, or, is the giggling and cackling making them scared?
<Helios hesitated, then made an unhappy face.>
Helios:  it's pretty scary.
<Cathance also made a face, trying to figure out if it was some sort of charm.>
Cathance:  is everyone equally scared?  Or the half-elves, not so much?
Helios:  everyone is equally scared, so we called in the Freelancers!  I was the last person there and it was very eerie, so I convinced my brother to call in the Freelancers.
<Helios pointed out, far on the other side of the property.>
Quelenna:  so there's been no visible evidence?
Helios:  we haven't convinced anyone to go inside.
Quelenna:  so you haven't tried, and see anything?
Helios:  don't want to go near it.
Fine Branch:  how much does it cost to rebuild?
Helios:  first, you have to go near it!
Cathance:  is it dark?  Are there skylights?  Can we punch a hole to let light in… ?
Helios:  I suppose – we don't want – you will have a hard time convincing Malakas destruction was necessary.
Quelenna:  how you get the mounts out?
Helios:  none there
Fine Branch:  the haunting started after mounts were out.
Nix:  so just a bunch of noise, nothing tangible.

The Freelancers strolled in the direction Helios had indicated and soon approached the barn.  100 feet away, everyone but Cathance could hear the high-pitched laughing within.  Nix silently told Mercury to be on the lookout for invisible creatures.  The barn doors were open, but it was dark within.

The Freelancers stopped, and Nix used a ritual to cast detect magic.  Ten minutes later, she completed her ritual, and the Freelancers moved closer to the barn.  Nix detected abjuration magic; the building had been protected against fire.

By this time they'd arrived at the door, and even Cathance heard the cackling.  The four of them peered in, listening to the eerie giggles.  There were multiple sources; everyone but Quelenna counted at least 5.

Cathance cast dancing lights where the barn formed a "T".  The Freelancers saw forms darting back behind the walls.  They observed the ceilings were higher than they expected.  Maybe there was a hay loft?  Perhaps designed for flying mounts?  They realized something was climbing, and Cathance made the lights actually dance.  The giggles trailed off, then resumed.

Cathance called into the barn, "Hellooooooo!" which just made the giggling louder.  She moved the dancing lights behind a stall to the right, and Fine Branch cast light on a ball bearing and chucked it into the "T".  Nix cast light on the stem of her parasol of shielding, and Cathance got out her gem of brightness from the bracelet of holding.

Quelenna and Cathance could swear they heard "Come play!" interspersed with the giggles.  Nix and Fine Branch, however, heard things more clearly in Abyssal:  "It will be fun!  Come play!  We have a great joke!  Come play!"

Fine Branch and Nix looked at each other.  Fine Branch, ears pricked, called out in Abyssal, "You know, I'm something of a trickster myself," and was rewarded by full on laughter.  "Come play!  Trickses!  We love trickses!" the voices called out, both in Abyssal and Trade.

Fine Branch replied in Abyssal, "We're gonna need to get everyone together, for our first trick," gesturing.  Cathance obligingly moved the dancing lights back to the middle of the "T", and set them spinning through a canted infinity spiral.

The voices replied, all together and in sync, "Yes!  Come in!  All together for trickses!"

Fine Branch invoked his doppelgänger, which appeared directly on top of him, then walked into the barn, directly under the infinity spiral in the "T" intersection.  The doppelgänger called out, "Okay, I'm ready to play!" in Abyssal.  Cathance did not know what he said, but she changed the dancing lights to be a square dancing at eye level around his head, bouncing and bouncing.

A small creature ducked around the entrance to a stall, and shot the doppelgänger with a firebolt.  Of course it went right through, hit the wall of a stall, and fizzled out.  The creature laughed in delight, "Eee hee hee!  Good trick!" and hid.

But the Freelancers did not consider a firebolt to be a trick.

Cathance, still unsure what they were dealing with, and unable to see any creature, prepared to cast chill touch if she saw any creature attacking again.  She kept the dancing lights up, but made the pattern steadier, but she stayed in the barn doorway, partially covered in case a firebolt came her way.

• Quelenna did not think the doorway was a useful place for a monk to be, so she moved up to the dancing lights and looked around.  She saw the hidden creature, and two others, one down the hallway and one on the side of the empty stalls.
  • Quelenna had no idea what these were.  She called out, "Hi guys!" at them, and they laughed.
• The creature who'd shot a firebolt at the doppelgänger emerged from its hiding place.  It was the same colour as Damakaios, and actually looked a little bit like him, except without the beard and with pointy teeth and forward horns, and much smaller (smaller than Cathance even).  It shot Quelenna with a firebolt.
  • It died mid-laughter as the skeletal hand of Cathance's chill touch grabbed it, spreading necrosis.
• Another creature from a stall to their right called out to Cathance, "What do you do when a bear shits in the woods?"  Cathance was wise to that one and said nothing, and it laughed and hid in the stall.
• A red creature appeared on top of the stalls, and told Nix the same joke, and Nix fell over laughing hideously.
  • Cathance looked at Nix.  "It wasn't that funny," she said, but Nix was busy laughing.  The creature laughed too.
• Nix calmed down and stopped laughing, but was still prone, trying to catch her breath.
  • The creature scowled and exclaimed, "My joke was funnier than that!  Keep laughing!"
• Fine Branch and his doppelgänger moved towards each other, and he dropped the doppelgänger when they overlapped, in some attempt to fool the creatures into thinking he was still that doppelgänger.  Then he chanted "Cats cats cats cats cats!" to invoke spirit guardians, and was surrounded by grinning spirit cheshires. 
• Mercury dodged.

Cathance's eyes darted as she listened to the high-pitched cackling, bantering, and jokes.  She saw another one of the creatures in the stall to her left next to the "T" but it was behind good cover.  She instead cast chill touch on the creature that had incapacitated Nix with its joke, but she missed somehow.  She moved the dancing lights over Fine Branch again.

• Quelenna moved to the stall where the creature who'd tried to tell Cathance a joke was hiding.  She contemplated the giggling creature.  "Would you like to play?  Shall we play?" she asked condescendingly.  "These forms are really fun!"
  • The monk slashed twice with her fans, but the first slash missed.  She tried to stun the creature, but it avoided her; she used her flurry of blows, but only landed one punch.
  • That punch was enough to kill it; but it died giggling.  "You punch like a girl–" its voice trailed off.
• The creature in the stall next to the "T" shot a firebolt at Quelenna, but missed and the bolt just fizzled out on the cage part above the stall wall.  It climbed up to the top of the stall.
• The creature Cathance had missed shot a firebolt at Fine Branch, but the spirit guardian cats killed it, and the firebolt fizzled out.
• Another creature appeared, high up on the cage over the stalls, and told Fine Branch a shitty joke.  Fine Branch was not amused.
• Nix stood up, and saw both remaining creatures.  She walked into the barn, and cast mind sliver on the creature that had missed Quelenna.  It stopped laughing as it was afflicted with a distracting headache.
• Fine Branch moved into the stall next to the "T" and climbed up after the afflicted creature, ready to dodge a firebolt.
• Mercury dodged.

Cathance finally entered the barn, and moved up to the second stall.  She moved the dancing lights again, and again prepared to cast chill touch.  She looked around carefully, sure she'd heard something … other than the cackling creatures.

Mercury was shouting in Nix's head.  "OMG OMG Big Monky Big Monkey!"  Nix looked around, seeing nothing, but heard a big thump behind Fine Branch.  Fine Branch twisted to see, but saw nothing.

• A big monkey with horns appeared behind Quelenna, chomping on her shoulder, hard.  It then punched her with a fist.
  • Cathance cried out, "Guys!  Some big monkey is attacking Quelenna!!!"  Quelenna's face went flat, despite the pain, and she said, "I noticed."
  • The small red creatures cackled with glee.
  • Cathance cast chill touch at the big horned monkey, and necrosis spread from where the skeletal hand grasped it.
• A second big monkey appeared behind Fine Branch, because it was burned by his spirit guardian cheshires.  It failed to bite the nekomata, but did punch him right above the hip.
• Quelenna, perhaps inspired by getting chomped on the shoulder, turned around and slashed the big horned monkey twice with her fans, applying a stunning strike to render it insensible.  She then crit with a flurry of blows, so the monkey could feel a big blow from her own fist.
• The cackling red creature above Fine Branch succumbed to the spirit guardians and fell past the nekomata to hit the floor with kind of a splat sound.
• The remaining creature shot Quelenna with a firebolt, then moved back slightly.
• Nix held up her parasol of shielding in one hand, and a crystal in the other, then used her sorcerous abilities to twin cast a twice-uplevel'd chromatic orb at the monkeys.  The orbs settled on cold, and struck their targets, but didn't hit nearly as hard as Nix was expecting.
  • Cackles echoed in the barn.  "A ha ha!  Resistant to cold!  A ha ha!  Funny trick!"
  • Cathance frowned, glanced at the creature and the monkeys.  She didn't think it was their trick, just that the monkeys were resistant to cold.
  • Nix moved next to Quelenna.
• Fine Branch cast guardian of faith between the two monkeys.  The spirit shimmered and they could see a shield with The Cat on it.
  • Fine Branch cast spiritual weapon in the form of a barrel under himself.  It bonked the nearest horned monkey with force.
• Mercury wanted nothing to do with these monkeys and dodged.

Cathance peered at the big horned monkeys.  They weren't really monkeys; she saw black ichor dripping from their wounds.  Well, Cathance can deal with black… she sent a smoking black bolt of pure chaos at the horned "monkey" on Quelenna.  The bolt settled on mind damage before it arrived, sank into the monkey's head, and killed the devil or demon or whatever it was.

• The remaining horned monkey was burned by Fine Branch's spirit guardian cheshires, then burned by the holy radiance of the guardian of faith.  It roared in Abyssal.
  • The big monkey recklessly attacked Fine Branch.  It then missed its bite, but punched Fine Branch in the kidney again, and swung at Fine Branch with the other fist…
  • …and Cathance twisted something in the air, and everything shifted ever so slightly, and the big monkey missed Fine Branch.
  • The big monkey leapt 20' straight up in the air.  Fine Branch attacked it as it went by, but missed.
  • It climbed up to the ceiling and over to a hole in the cage wall.
• Quelenna briefly nursed her shoulder, murmuring "I don't need more bad dad jokes."  She used her Winged Boots to fly up to the last giggling creature, and attacked it with her fans.  The first slash missed, but the second slash was fatal.
  • "A ha ha!  Final joke!  Fuck you!" it said as it fell, then went ker-splat on the floor.  Quelenna looked down at the disintegrating corpse.  "Ha ha," she said.
• Nix got onto her broom of flying, and flew up until she could see the big horned monkey.  She cast another twice-uplevel'd chromatic orb at it again, but this time the orb, which had some arcing, settled on thunder before striking the monkey.  It reverberated and shuddered, then fell to the floor of the barn, dead.

The barn was blissfully silent.

Fine Branch climbed up to where the big horned monkey was going.  He found a lot of holes in the cage bars between the upper parts of the stalls.

Nix cast detect magic again.  She again saw the abjuration charms around the barn, and realized they were why the firebolts had fizzled out.  She walked around the corner of the "T" and found some bottles.  Three were empty, but one appeared from the magical signature to be a greater healing potion.

Fine Branch had climbed down and was poking around the stable, and concluded it was a high quality stable (as if House Teontra would have any less).  He found 2gp 7sp scattered where the mounts had been getting groomed.

Cathance, meanwhile, used her boots of striding and springing to get up to where the monkey was, to see if anything interesting was there.  All she found was 1gp 3sp.  Quelenna also looked, trying to learn where these creatures came from.  She figured out where they had been sleeping, but no origin.

Nix went back to the "T" and pulled out her wyvern bones.  She called on the spirits and cast augury.  "We killed the creatures, and plan to bring the animals back," she intoned, and got an answer that this was a good plan.

Finally the Freelancers turned their attention to the corpses.  The giggling creatures, which looked almost like imps, were liquifying into black goop.  The monkeys each had a gold band around one horn, set with gemstones, one with three and one with four, worth 50gp each: 1 regular quartz, 2 star rose quartz, 2 chrysoprase, 1 citrine, 1 zircon.  The group took the horns and all their decoration, once assuring themselves the horns would not also disintegrate to black goop.

Fine Branch and Cathance did not know about these monkeys, but the black blood jogged Nix's memory.  She told the others these were Barlgura, they were native to the Hells.

Fine Branch:  if these had to be summoned – with Dryali, we had a mission where there was sabotage of Houses.  And also there was Hadid, and its dancing tree.
Cathance:  the little ones also summoned?
Nix:  they are also not native to Skyway.

The Freelancers exited into the light of day, and headed towards the villa.  They realized that a couple hundred yards away Helios was waiting, with a good half-dozen stablehands.  They looked nervous, and they were armed.  The Freelancers walked right up to them.

Helios:  are you – what happened – are they gone – did the laughter stop?
Fine Branch <grinned>:  yes, the laughter stopped.
Helios:  what was it?
Fine Branch:  some demons.  They do not belong here.  Perhaps, you know how they got here?
Helios <disturbed>:  I have no idea why … wait, what?  <pause as he gathered his thoughts.>  what, this is weird

Everyone hastened to reassure Helios it was fine.  He paid the Freelancers their fee, and sent the stablehands to bring the Freelancers' mounts.

Helios:  please give the cut to Damakaios
Cathance:  you should be aware there are bent bars in there, and such.
Helios:  yes, I presume that was not you; those bars are strong
Cathance:  no, not us.
Helios:  we will have a family meeting to determine when this started, and what rivals we had at the time.  <Doubletake on Quelenna.>  how did you get so beat up?!
Quelenna:  giant horrible ape thing basically came down and smacked me, but it's okay, I got him back.
Cathance:  the corpses are turning into black goo; you need to clean up [before bringing in mounts]
Helios:  we will bring in a special cleaning crew.