The Most Amazing Mushrooms Evar

An entire prime had passed since the Ripa Daneo Mount Faire, and the only happenings of note–beyond Dryali taking a long bath–was that Julian had bought a pegasus to replace the one he'd forsaken on Sans Pareil.  The new pegasus was also dubbed "Buttercup".

Dryali, Fine Branch, and Quelenna had grown bored, so they mounted the stairs after breakfast, walked past the minotaur head staring balefully at any and all visitors, and entered Damakaios' open office to find out what missions there were.  Dryali lounged on a chair in the back right, as Fine Branch paced restlessly, her tails waving.  The only reason Quelenna did not also pace was the Wild elf occupied herself with inspecting all the weapons on display in the side cabinets.

No two weapons were the same style.  Some daggars, short swords, and a fan here and there.

Damakaios stopped what he'd been writing when they entered, and now pulled out 4 pieces of paper from a drawer that was much thinner than appeared from his reaching inside.  He straightened them and, after ascertaining this posturing from Fine Branch and Quelenna was a sham to disguise their interest, launched into the available missions.

Of Course – Amabel Villa, 250 eagles each, whatever you find you keep, just don't destroy the villa.

Second – Hadids still on the lookout for some troll blood.  They would like it if Freelancers would go into the lesser used tunnels and come back with troll blood & teeth, will pay handsomely.

Third – investigate bad poetry wedding lady.  The first investigation looked at the Houses involved.  Track her down, find her or find her motivations.  250 eagles/person, paid for by Vangdondalore and Ganjaskha Houses.

Dryali:  have they had any interference since?
Damakaios:  no
Fine Branch:  hard to be enthused about this as we hit a wall.
Damakaios:  a lot of things happen in Ripa Daneo, perhaps look around the … edges of the city.  Or find out was any of the weddings were disrupted
Fine Branch:  so look for wedding disruptions and not a vendetta.
Damakaios:  the poetry was anti-wedding and not anti-Vangdondalore.

Fourth – we are close to Waypoint Tremendous.  Go there and see what has happened to the Daystar lotion shipped there; 250 eagles each + passage.

Dryali:  why is it "Tremendous"?  Is it big?
Fine Branch:  it's impressive
Damakaios:  the people who named it wanted it to be; but the flora and fauna are a bit larger than usual.  <consulted paper>  anyhow, it's actually kind of marshy.
<Silence as Fine Branch resumed pacing, and Quelenna continued to look at the weapons.>
Dryali:  any medium-to-high profile weddings happening?
Damakaios:  no high profile I'm aware of
Dryali:  how about recent ones?
Damakaios:  no
Fine Branch <stopped pacing>:  how do you kill trolls, anyhow?
Quelenna <without looking up>:  you kill them with fire
Dryali <nodded>:  acid could also work; but fire

So, the mission would be trolls.  After all, who doesn't derive satisfaction from reducing the number of trolls one might encounter?  Damakaios was pleased, and told them, "Always happy for Freelancers to provide services to House Hadid,  They generate fashionable and high quality magical clothing and armour, and I prefer to keep on their good side."  He rose.  "You probably want containers for blood, if you are going to exsanguinate trolls."

And with those words, he kicked the three of them out of his office.  He'd been busy when they came in.

The Freelancers paid the quartermaster a visit, and Dryali bought 6 potion bottles at 4 cats each.  Along the way they discussed how to find the trolls; take their mounts, go to Vathia Estia, and split off either before or after.

The operative word there was "either", and Fine Branch decided to commune with The Cat to find out which it would be.  There being no proper place to do this inside, they all went outside, Fine Branch so she could burn the incense for the ritual properly, and the elves because they were curious to see the spell in action.

Fine Branch basically burned incense and was very still, eyes closed, other than her lashing tails.  However to their surprise she had Dryali and Quelenna stand just so.  Once the spell was ready, she opened unseeing eyes to reveal a pool of stars and the Cat Nebula instead of eyeballs.  She spread her arms as if to encompass the two elves in her awareness.  Her voice had a deeper echo behind it as she intoned her question for The Cat:

We are searching for trolls to slay for the purpose of harvesting blood and teeth.  For the group we are, are we more likely to handle splitting off before or after Vathia Estia?

The Cat said nothing to Fine Branch, but sent her a vision of a stylized image of 3 stars, and zoomed in on the lower two.  Fine Branch understood this vision to be a map and tried to remember the lower tunnels, but then the vision winked out.

The nekomata blinked, and her eyes were normal.  "Anyhow, it's the midpoint, lower tunnels," she told the others.

The Freelancers went back inside to gather their things.

Fine Branch was on her hippogryph, Nighthawk, and both Dryali and Quelenna were riding owl gryphons; thus they took off from Freelancers Villa towards the lower end of the Vathia Estia Tunnels, northwest of Gata Nahaki at the crater floor.  The skies were partly cloudy when they left, but Commerce was approaching a wall of clouds which the interaction between rock and cloud quickly turned into thunderstorms.  The Freelancers got through the queue and into the tunnels before the storm opened up.

The group flew over the heads of caravans, since the Freelancers had darkvision; the owl gryphons also did, and Dryali also.  They got about halfway to Vathia Estia and found an alcove to camp for the night.

The next morning, the Freelancers branched off from the caravan route to explore in the side tunnels.  Dryali took the lead on his owl gryphon Alanya, since as a Dark elf he was the Freelancer most comfortable in dark caverns.  However Fine Branch cast light on something, and the resulting shadows threw Dryali way off, as did the sounds of small creatures scrambling away from it.  The nekomata cleric kept calling out corrections from her position behind, and Dryali grew cross.  "Do you want to be in front?" he finally snapped, but Fine Branch just waved him to continue.

The route meandered quite a bit; they found a lot of people detritus, and towards the end of the day they encountered a couple streams they had to cross which were slick, but pretty.  The Freelancers stopped for the night, and felt despite a full day's trek, they hadn't gotten very far.

Finally they found a nice little cave with a stream and a pool of water, and decided to camp for the night.  They set a watch order:  Quelenna, Dryali, Fine Branch, but other than the water sounds and the occasional need to soothe the mounts, nothing was really going on.

The next morning, they prepared to resume their search.

Quelenna:  do we really want Dryali in the lead again?
Dryali:  maybe you be in the lead, then you can punch 'em.  I can shoot over your head.
Quelenna:  sure.

Quelenna did not do any better than Dryali, except now she got to experience the joy of Fine Branch calling out corrections from her position behind.  For hours they dealt with deadends, backtracking, wandering.  Just as the Freelancers had decided to start looking for a likely campsite to overnight, they realized the sounds of small creatures scrambling away had stopped.

Just as they came up to the entrance to a large cave, Dryali used his All-purpose Tool to learn the acid splash cantrip.  They entered and looked around, the dim light from the bioluminescent moss making it feel well-lit, after two full days in the dark.  The cave ceiling was perhaps 20' up.  Weird mushrooms were in various places in the cave, as large as Dryali in places.

The mushrooms were talking, boasting about how awesome they were.

The Freelancers paused at the cave entrance, still mounted, bemused by the mushrooms:  their brains heard the mushrooms talking, in Trade, saying things like "I'm the most awesome!" but their ears heard burbles of unrecognizable sounds.  But they didn't have long to consider the situation, because 3 trolls stood up from various locations in the large cave.

Now, Dryali and the owl gryphons knew there were three.  Fine Branch and Quelenna could only see 2 of them.  Nighthawk, behind the owl gryphons, maybe saw 1, or 2 at the edge of his vision.

Fine Branch immediately cast banish on the closest troll.  It disappeared.  She cast an uplevel'd spiritual weapon, in the form of a banhammer, next to the other troll, but it missed.  Nighthawk took flight as far up towards the ceiling as he dared.

• The troll next to the banhammer moved to Quelenna and Hau-kea, slashing and biting at the Wild elf.  Only one claw connected, slashing her badly.
• Dryali surveyed the cave, and it did not occur to him to tell the others there was a third troll, since it was so obvious to him.
  • Dryali:  flamethrower cannon, or healing cannon?
    Fine Branch:  flames on trolls: good.  Flames on mushrooms in our heads:  might be bad.
  • The artificer considered experiencing psychic screams from sauteed mushrooms, and created a protector eldritch cannon, which bolstered the Freelancers and mounts.  He had to have Alanya in the air a bit to get Fine Branch in range.
• Quelenna was too preoccupied at having been slashed open by troll claws to appreciate the protector cannon.  "This is bullshit!" she cried, "I wanna hit something!"
  • Pulling out her magical fans, she slashed the troll twice with them, and the first one crit!  The monk used her ki in an attempt to stun the troll, to no avail.
  • So then Quelenna used more ki to beat the troll twice with a flurry of blows.
  • Hau-kea also clawed and bit this troll.
• The voices of the mushrooms in the Freelancers' heads grew even louder, all competing for supremacy of their fabulousness.  The voices and ridiculousness hurt everyone's heads, Dryali's most of all.

Fine Branch threw an alchemist's fire down from her position up near the ceiling, but it missed the troll and broke open on the ground next to it.  She moved the spiritual weapon banhammer to smack the creature with force.

• The wounds on the troll attacking Quelenna closed before her very eyes, and it swiped at her and missed.  Then it slashed her with its other claw, and bit her too.
• The third troll moved up to attack Dryali, since Alanya wasn't flying high enough to be out of its reach.  Apparently she was flying high enough for the troll to miss.
• Dryali had the protector cannon bolster everyone again; the Freelancers needed that to counter the jaw-clenching headaches from the mushrooms' insipid  braggadocio.
  • Alanya clawed the troll, then crit with her beak.  She flew to the other side of the cave, and the troll's parting swipe was in vain.
  • Dryali shot a firebolt at the troll and missed.
• Quelenna struck out with her fans again, but missed the troll.  She took a parting slash and crit the creature.
  • Hau-kea disengaged from the troll and flew over next to Alanya.
• The Freelancers' heads continued to be assaulted by vapid mushroom boasts.

Fine Branch looked at the two trolls, then dropped an alchemist's fire on the injured one.  She moved the spiritual weapon banhammer to smack the troll with force, and it fell down, on fire.  Nighthawk swooped down and attacked the other troll, but missed, then flew over to Hau-kea and Alanya.

• The burning troll died.
• The other troll snarled, dashing at Alanya.  They watched its wounds close, but not all the way.
• Dryali had the protector cannon bolster everyone again; Quelenna sighed in relief.
  • Alanya attacked the troll with claw and beak.  This time her claws crit.
  • Dryali cast caustic brew, the line of acid striking the troll and one of the mushrooms.
    • The troll avoided the acid, and Dryali swore.
    • The mushroom did not, and the voice in their head screeched, "Oh my beautiful cap!  How dare you?!"
• Quelenna was disappointed, but attacked this other troll.  She slashed the troll twice with her fans, and the second one crit!  The monk used her ki to stun the troll.
  • As it stood there stunned, the Wild elf  used more ki to beat the troll twice with a flurry of blows.
  • Hau-kea also clawed and bit the troll, and it fell down.
• One of the mushrooms shuffled towards the Freelancers as Dryali's caustic brew ate more into the cap of another one.
  • The mushroom's boasts echoed in the Freelancers' heads, mixed in with complaints from the injured one, and these affected Dryali the most.

Fine Branch dropped yet another alchemist's fire on the prone troll, and the fire killed it.  That left one banished troll and the egotistical psychic mushrooms, which, by the way, are called "Ancaps", and were in 3 clusters:  blue, green, and purple.  The blue one had been damaged by acid.

Dryali <crossly>:  smack that fucking mushroom
Fine Branch:  with what?
Dryali:  your spiritual weapon!

The cleric of The Cat moved the spiritual weapon banhammer to the blue mushroom and smacked it with force.  Its psychic howls of outrage echoed through the nekomata's head.  Nighthawk bit the cap off, killing it.  Then the hippogryph flew to the purple mushrooms and slashed those.

• Dryali had the protector cannon bolster everyone again, then sent a firebolt at the purple mushrooms.  He missed again, and started inspecting the rod of collapsing he was using to ensure the etchings were aligned.
  • Alanya did not need urging, she flew over and slashed the purple mushrooms with her claws.  Then she tried to bit them with her beak and instead scraped on some stalactites as she critfailed.
• Quelenna flew over to the purple mushrooms and slashed once with a magical fan, which killed them.
  • She flew over to the green mushrooms and slashed them too, so now she got to enjoy the mushroom's offended mental voice.
  • The monk smoothly closed one of her fans and punched the mushroom.
  • Hau-kea was a bit confused, but tried to bite and claw the green mushrooms too; she missed.
• The green mushrooms yelled in Quelenna's head, "How dare you punch my beautiful gills?"  Quelenna's headache increased even more.

Fine Branch moved the spiritual weapon banhammer to the green mushrooms and killed them with force.  Then she moved towards where the banished troll would reappear.  She gestured at the others and as they moved in place, said, "Do not move within 10 feet of it!"

• Dryali prepared to cast firebolt
• Quelenna prepared to throw alchemist's fire

Fine Branch prepared to cast flamestrike, and at that, the banish dropped and the hungry and bored troll reappeared.  The flamestrike rained down on the troll, burning it with both fire and holy radiance.

• Dryali shot it with his prepared firebolt
• Quelenna threw her prepared alchemist's fire, which did not directly hit the troll, but was close enough to splash.
• The protector cannon bolstered everyone, and then Alanya attacked!  Her bite missed the troll but she slashed it with her claws.
  • Dryali then cast caustic brew again, searing the troll with acid.
  • Alanya flew away, and the troll slashed at her, critfailing.
    • Behind the troll's claws, sparkles poured out, turning into butterflies and flower petals as they fully detached from the surprised troll.
• Quelenna struck twice with her magical fans, but missed on the backslash.
  • She used her ki for flurry of blows.  The first punch killed the troll, but she struck it again for good measure.

At that, the Freelancers, their mounts, and the bioluminescent moss were the only things left alive in the cave.

As the alchemist's fires flickered out, the Freelancers set about the grim task of harvesting the parts from the trolls.  They got the teeth, the blood, and the nails from the trolls' filthy hands too.

Dryali examined the mushrooms, but he couldn't really tell how useful they were or not.  He harvested those into sacks, and put them into his Handy Haversack backpack for later (since that would preserve them better).

Since the trolls were disposed of and the Freelancers had already been looking for a place to camp, they spent the night in the cave.  It smelled bad, but no creatures came to bother them, sleeping in the trolls' lair.  The cave had a lot of chewed, fragmented bones.

After that it took them 3 more days of wandering and backtracking to get to the Vathia Estia Tunnel, and from there a relatively short travel time back to Ripa Daneo.

House Hadid paid 2250 eagles for the troll parts, and the Freelancers split the mushrooms 3 ways.  At Freelancers Villa, Cathance pointed them to the Bluegrass Herbalism shop, and the shopkeeper, a half-elf named Damaris Bluetraveler, was happy to pay 450 eagles for the lot.

"These are the most amazing mushrooms ever!" he told the 3 Freelancers, and was a bit puzzled when they all rolled their eyes.

• Quelenna → lvl7!