House Ha'aheo's Stables Shenanigans

The new Freelancer, Ka, was breakfasting with Tomtom, who was questioning him closely about his abilities and inclinations.  Ka was a tall, thin, lean muscular human man with reddish skin, pale blond hair, and golden brown eyes.  His clothes and manners were equally refined.  Ondar and Kaikoa were at another table, swapping stories and decidedly not as refined as Ka.  Glesni watched them from her table next to the wall. She was about to go back to the practice yard when Tomtom stood up and went to Kaikoa's table.

"You two, come into my office, you will help me solve a problem," he said.  He turned to go upstairs and saw Glesni.  "You too."  He went upstairs.  Ka followed him, curious.

Kaikoa shrugged, and moved towards the stairs, walking awkwardly with a pronounced limp.  He had a cup of rum in one hand.  Ondar stood up, towering over everyone; he wasn't quite 2' taller than Glesni, but he was that much taller than Kaikoa.  Glesni realized that the Freelancer Deputy wasn't making a request, and followed them to Tomtom's office.

Tomtom's office had a variety of weapons mounted on the wall, and maps of Cliffshadow and Duquesne.  On a shelf to the side, he had a collection of rocks, carefully labelled with their original skylith.

"I've called the four of you specifically here," he was saying, "House Ha'aheo stables are having a problem.  They are doing pegasus breeding for Cliffshadow."  At everyone's raised eyebrows, he continued, "Weird things are happening to their stables, and the last group of Freelancers we sent had weird magical troubles, so now we want to send a group of non-magical people."

Glesni nigh gaped at her Cloud elf self being referred to as a non-magical person, but all that came out of her mouth was, "I have minor illusion."  Tomtom's reply was curt, "Don't use it."

Kaikoa:  can you tell us more about what went wrong?
Ka:  does this involve a lot of poop?
Tomtom:  no.
Tomtom:  they were having problems with things getting misplaced, showing up in wrong areas; things getting stolen; the paddocks left open.  The last team we sent… their magic went wild.
Kaikoa:  has there been theft of a pegasus?  This sounds like a lot of drunken bullshit!
Tomtom:  it does; but it's during the day!  No pegasus is missing yet, but seems to be <soon>
Ondar:  if Ondar finds it necessary to hurt someone to stop it, is that acceptable?
Tomtom:  depends on who it is.
Ondar:  what if member of House?
Tomtom:  we'll have to see.
Glesni <frowning>:  this sounds like the Goose.
Tomtom:  it kind of does.
Kaikoa:  150gp to babysit a stable for a couple of days?  I'm in.
Tomtom:  it's a couple hours' travel northwest to the draft pegasus stables.  <points out on Cliffshadow map>  possibly, Hanohano will be there.
Kaikoa:  can we get some additional supplies, like healing potions?
Ondar:  yeah.
Kaikoa:  happy to request from the House on your behalf...
Tomtom <thinking>:  that's a good idea

They walked down to the quartermaster, a female Maker gnome named Zannawocket, and Tomtom handed each of them a healing potion.  Glesni, on a hunch, bought a bag of 20 caltrops for 1gp.

Kaikoa asked Tomtom about bringing Mordant, given that the hippogryph normally regarded pegasus as food.  Tomtom replied, "The pegasus can deal."  Kaikoa stepped towards the stables, then paused.  "On second thought, if whatever this is steals a flying mount, I want zero chance of it being Mordant!"

And so the Freelancer martial contingent set out for House Ha'aheo's draft pegasus stables on foot.

The House Ha'aheo stables were a medium-sized affair:  3 long barns for stables, a bunkhouse for staff, a lot of paddocks, fenced in.  The complex was in the tall trees, and above the paddocks were nets, with large glass beads, and tiny bells tinkling in the wind.

The Freelancers, unsure where to go, approached the first barn, and were greeted by a male Rock sagani.  Kaikoa recognized this as Hanohano, who was very glad to see them arrive.  "We've been having so many troubles," he explained.  "Every time we set a watch, nothing happens; or, it happens elsewhere."

"Sounds like a problem," Kaikoa agreed.  But it was lunch time, and it was a long walk.  "Got anything to eat?"  Hanohano was amenable to this suggestion, "Sure!  Let's eat and talk before you look around."

Ondar declared, "Ondar thinks this is an excellent idea.  Also would like one of everything you have to drink."  Hanohano looked startled, but said, "Okay, sure."

They went into the bunkhouse, and got the standard food fed to the House stablehands.  Also Hanohano had someone bring a tray of drinks to Ondar, including coffee and tea.  After settling down to their meal…

Kaikoa:  alright, how long?
Hanohano:  about the time of Tumultuous; hard to tell because it started slowly, with misplaced items.
Kaikoa:  and it's been slowly building?
Hanohano:  yes
Kaikoa:  no sign of tracks, feathers, etc?
Hanohano:  feathers?!  This is a pegasus stables!
Glesni:  do you have perimeter alarms?
Hanohano:  no; we have guards, etc.  They are all trustworthy.
Glesni:  anyone new?
Hanohano:  no new guards or other personnel.
Kaikoa:  there's no pattern?
Hanohano:  completely random items and location
Kaikoa:  where was the last thing?

While this conversion was happening, Ondar drank all of his drinks, one by one, considering them all carefully.  He finished just about at Kaikoa's question.

"Let me show you," Hanohano said, and he rose and led the Freelancers to one of the barns.  "This is the barn with the almost fully-trained draft pegasus, the 1-2 year olds."

The barn was long, and rather shaded.  The Freelancers peered down the stone floor between the stalls, and horse noses stuck out of the stalls, curious at the visitors.  Hanohano led them down the walkway.  "Careful of that one," he said, as one of them showed off its teeth.  They realized it was not rectangular when they got to a T-junction.  To the left were more stalls.  To the right, they saw in the corner, a large tack room.  A carved post was in the center, holding up the roof.

Hanohano announced, "The last thing that happened was, everything in this room was swapped with the room across," he pointed further to the right.

Glesni pointed at the carved post.  "Was this also swapped?" she asked.  Hanohano replied, "No," and they moved into the room, looking around.  Everything appeared to be in place.

Ondar:  if this is the kind of thing, how is it worth 1000gp?
Hanohano:  this is just the last thing.  Prior to that was a paddock left open!
Kaikoa:  when was this?
Hanohano:  a couple hours ago!
Glesni:  so, these haven't been put back?
Hanohano:  no.
Kaikoa:  Freelancers were here before.
Hanohano:  not a lot was set on fire.  Someone turned into a potted plant.  Someone grew a third eye.  Someone's hair fell out.
Kaikoa:  we should see where that happened.
Ondar:  we should look at these rooms first.

While Hanohano watched, the Freelancers did their best to investigate the room.  <Narrator voice:  Or perhaps, it was not their best, as both Glesni and Ka rolled a 1.>  Ondar observed that things were in their new places a bit clumsily.  Kaikoa noticed the handle on one of the brushes had marks that were not from a hand, but a mouth, or claw.

Ka and Glesni heard something pretty.  Music, perhaps, or bird calls.

Glesni:  do you hear that?
Ka:  it sound pretty!  Sounds outside, let's go see!
Kaikoa:  what?!
Glesni:  don't you hear it?
Ka:  birds, or something.
Kaikoa:  no, let's go see.
Hanohano:  what are you talking about?

Glesni and Ka went outside, following the sound.

Hanohano:  the paddock is over there <points at the tinkling bells>
Glesni:  the music faded
Ka:  dunno, let's check it out
Glesni:  let's backtrack

They backtracked, but couldn't find the music again, and ended back in the tack room.  Kaikoa picked up the suspect brush again.  "Hanohano, you seen these toothmarks?"  Hanohano looked, and said, "No, but they're not pegasi."

Ondar suggested, "We should look for other items with such marks.  Leather will hold it."

They investigated again, looking in the other room, this time.  But Glesni, Ondar, and Ka weren't used to hanging out in the stables with mounts.  Kaikoa, who had Mordant, knew what he was looking at, and found a bridle with more toothmarks.

"These look like geese teeth!" Kaikoa exclaimed.

Five large geese faded into view, and two of them took Glesni's daggar, and Hanohano's keys.  Three geese faded out.  The two with items ran away between the stalls.  Three more geese faded in.

"My keys!" Hanohano cried in dismay.

Ondar grabbed at a goose's neck.  The goose avoided him and hissed.  He moved next to the wall.

• Hanohano drew his shortsword and killed the goose with Glesni's daggar.  Except he didn't kill it; it disapparated in a shower of sparks and feathers, <poof>.  The feathers faded out and the daggar fell to the ground.  The Rock sagani stepped up to the goose with his keys.
• Ka drew rapier and daggar, and pierced a goose in front of him.  It went <poof> with a mournful HONK.  He moved to Ondar's goose, and with a glance at Ondar, struck it with his daggar.  It too disapparated with a <poof> of sparks and feathers.
  • "You see, Ondar, that's how it's done," he told Ondar.
• Kaikoa, cursing the Goose of Sabotage and its divine trickery, moved between Glesni and the door to the room, and struck another goose with his scimitar.  <poof>   He moved up to Hanohano.
  • "Goddamn goose doesn't even have the decency to stick around and be dinner for us!" he cried.  "We found your trouble, Hanohano!"
• The goose with Hanohano's keys disengaged and ran down the walkway between the stalls, keys jingling.  4 more geese reappeared next to people, and HONKED.  Kaikoa dropped his scimitar.
• Glesni backed away from the goose into the corner, and got bit for her troubles.  Feeling vaguely ridiculous, she shot the goose with her longbow from 8' away.  <poof>  and it took the arrow with it.  She walked over to the door and picked up her daggar.

Ondar turned around, and picked up the goose behind him.  Then he moved next to another goose, and surged to use the goose in hand as an improvised weapon against the goose on the floor.  The latter moved out of the way, and when the goose in his hand struck the floor, it went <poof> and Ondar held nothing.

• Hanohano was beside himself.  "Bring me back my keys, motherfucker!" he yelled, running after the goose with his keys.  The other goose that was next to him bit him, but Hanohano managed to cut off the goose with his keys.
• Ka used his rapier on the goose Ondar had missed, and winked at him as the goose went <poof>.  He ran past Glesni, to the goose that bit Hanohano, and stabbied it with his daggar, and it too went <poof>.
• Kaikoa looked around for any obvious holy symbols of the Goose as he picked up his scimitar.  He saw nothing of the sort.
  • "Is there a reason the Goose might be angry with you guys?" he asked Hanohano, who replied, "Not that I'm aware of!  Get this thing to give me back my keys!"
  • Kaikoa moved towards the goose with the keys, and readied himself to behead any goose that appeared next to him.
• More geese appeared next to people, and HONKED.  Ka had two next to him.  Kaikoa didn't drop his scimitar, but neither did he succeed in beheading anything.  On the other hand, Hanohano dropped his shortsword, and Ka dropped his rapier.
• Glesni heard Hanohano, and stepped away from the goose next to her, which bit her.  She didn't want an arrow to hit any pegasus if the goose disapparated.  Then she shot at the goose with the keys, and missed.  She too surged and shot it for real.  The goose went <poof> and the keys dropped to the floor.

Ondar drew his daggar.  The big quinametzin punched a goose <poof> and stabbied another goose <poof>, then flanked one of the geese next to Ka (the one nearest Glesni).

• Hanohano picked up his keys and shortsword, and put his keys away, casting reproachful glances at the geese.
• Ka picked up his rapier and ran through the goose Ondar was not flanking, <poof>.  Then he stabbied the flanked goose with his daggar, <poof>, and moved towards Kaikoa.
• Kaikoa was frustrated, and forgetting Tomtom's admonition, he cast levitate on the goose next to Hanohano, and raised it up to eye level.
  • The Wind sagani growled at the goose in Primordial, "Are you some sort of trickster spirit sent by the Goose of Sabotage?  Or what are you, anyhow?"  The goose, surprised, looked at him with one eye, then the other…
• ..and HONKED at Kaikoa.  The goose next to Hanohano tried to steal something else, but failed and ran away.  Hanohano struck it with his shortsword, <poof>.  Another goose appeared next to Kaikoa, and stole his holy symbol of Whatitiri.  It disengaged and ran down the hallway next to Hanohano.
• Glesni moved to get a clear shot and shot the goose with Kaikoa's holy symbol.  Perhaps there were a few extra sparks when it went <poof>, leaving the holy symbol on the ground.

Ondar looked around for some cause for these geese to appear.  Seeing nothing, he strode up to the levitated goose and punched it.  The goose disappeared in a shower of sparks and feathers…

...well actually, everyone disappeared.  Including some of the pegasus.  Hanohano called out, "Where'd you go?  That's weird!"

Kaikoa said, "Right behind you!"  Ondar merely said, "Here."  Kaikoa picked up his holy symbol, and it turned translucent in his hand.  "Did that disappear for you, too?" he asked, and Hanohano hissed, "Yessss."

A minute later, everyone reappeared.

The ever-cheerful Hanohano said wearily, "I don't know why it's targeting us."

Kaikoa made handwashing motions.  "We're done.  You've angered the gods!"  Hanohano wasn't expecting that, but all he said was "uh," because what else could he say?

Glesni suggested, "Check everyone's gear for talismans, etc."  Hanohano told her, "did that!"

There was a short silence, other than people putting up their weapons.

Hanohano said slowly, "Guess we started another paddock, about two primes into Periastron; now work has slowed down.  Check that, maybe?  ...I'll stay here."

Ondar had started fidgeting.  "Maybe, in an hour," he said, uncharacteristically.  Glesni looked at the big quinametzin and laughed, startling the other Freelancers.  "Ondar needs to pee!"

Ondar tried to maintain his dignity.  "Ondar prefers to call it, 'drowning a goose'," he declared, but then headed back outside.  They decided it was a good idea to rest for an hour, though.  Glesni retrieved the arrows she could, and Hanohano told them where the new paddock was being set up.

Once at the paddock, they all looked around.  It looked like a grove of trees.  Some had been cut down; Glesni, who tended to look for such things, saw where they were trying to establish the paddock's boundaries in the trees.  She pointed at the new tree stumps.  "You think these tree stumps started it?   Can't see anything else."

Kaikoa said, "We should check it out."  The Freelancers walked around the area, looking at the tree stumps.  It appeared that they were trying to clear the center, and grow more around the boundary.  In the western part of the center, they found some old, overgrown stonework.  Examining it closely, they saw it was a shrine to the Goose of Sabotage.  Tree roots had damaged it over time; stones were pushed out of place.  But, maybe the new stumps had damaged it more.

Ondar, Ka, and Glesni had no idea what to do.  Kaikoa was more clear on the options: "Either this needs to be wiped off the face of the skylith, or restored to pristine."  His face twisted, as he considered it, then he shrugged.  "50:50 which is the right thing to do."

Glesni also shrugged.  "Leave it to Hanohano."  She felt it was his House's transgression, they should own it.  "He fucked it up already," Kaikoa disagreed, "It's up to us."

As he looked at the ancient shrine, Kaikoa saw where one of the cut-down trees had broken off one of the wings.  He pointed it out to the others.  "I got an idea.  This piece:  set it up as a trap.  That's the appropriate way to honor the Goose."

Ka burst into maniacal laughter.  Ondar thought about it, then he too burst out laughing.  Glesni walked around the shrine, gravely examining the pieces.  "I think he's right," she said very seriously.

Ondar checked what strength was required, and then the four of them started reconfiguring the shrine, with Kaikoa and Ondar lifting the heavy pieces and Ka and Glesni balancing them in place.  Once they were satisfied the shrine was fixed, they booby-trapped it to collapse on the unsuspecting.  It was very precarious as they stepped back to survey their handiwork, but not too precarious.

A goose, larger than those they'd seen in the stables, appeared on the altar.  It HONKED at them, then disappeared in a shower of glitter and feathers, which faded out.  They each felt a goose bite them:  Ondar on the nape of his neck, Glesni on her left shoulderblade, Ka in his lower back, Kaikoa in his left ass cheek.  Nothing else seemed to happen, so they shrugged and turned to leave…

...just for Kaikoa and Glesni to duck at the last minute to avoid hitting a tree branch.  What was this?  They looked at each other, and at Ondar, who no longer loomed over them quite as much, and realized they'd all gotten taller.  Glesni and Kaikoa were now 6'3", and Ka had also grown by half a foot!  Even Ondar was a couple inches taller.

Given this was the Goose, the Freelancers laughed and figured it was another one of those effects the other Freelancers had experienced, and headed back to the bunkhouse to tell Hanohano.  Twilight had come and none of them wanted to be near this shrine after dark.

Hanohano was happy to see the Freelancers return; he had started to worry about how long they'd been gone to look at the incomplete paddock.  "Are you okay?" he asked, peering at them.  He frowned, "Wait, have you changed...?  Am I... shorter?"

Kaikoa:  yes
Hanohano:  how can I fix it?
Kaikoa <wryly>:  it will be fixed before we leave.
Hanohano:  oh.  Okay
Ondar:  Ondar and friends recommend you sell the land.
Ka:  never set foot in there again.
Kaikoa:  you could donate it.
Hanohano:  could keep, and mark it off?
Kaikoa:  if unwanted people show up, send them there to pray.
Hanohano:  I do have an unwanted cousin...

Hanohano went into a side office, and upon return paid out the 150gp fee each for the Freelancers' efforts.  "Remember to give the Freelancer's Cut to Arnari," he started, then paused, "or, wait, Tomtom.  I'm not sure," he confessed.

By now it was fully dark, and Hanohano offered to have the Freelancers stay in the bunkhouse for the night.  He also mentioned he had no new drinks for Ondar, who replied, "Ondar just need water," confusing Hanohano.

"We'll take you up on your offer," Kaikoa declared.  At that, they all joined the stablehands for dinner, which was quite serviceable.

Everyone slept well that night, with no fear of the Goose pranking the stables, although the Freelancers did have some issues barking their toes on the ends of the bunks.  The next morning, they arose to find they remained the same height, and were a bit disturbed.  At breakfast, Hanohano observed he was not shorter, but the height difference was still not fixed.

"Yeah," Kaikoa said, "I think we should get out of here before the Goose changes its mind."  He was starting to enjoy his newfound tallness.  They took their leave and headed back to Freelancers Tavern, Ondar and Kaikoa in the lead, with Ka slightly behind them and Glesni trailing in the back.

The Freelancers hadn't made it quite out of the woods when Glesni realized Ondar's tattoos were changed.  "Is that… a Goose tattoo on your neck?" she asked, a frisson of horror underneath her question.  Goose tattoos were prized by the god's followers; not so much by anyone else.  Ka's eyes widened.  "Yeah," he said.  Ondar rubbed his neck, and declared, "Ondar felt a goose bite yesterday, at the shrine."

The other three quickly checked where they had felt the goose bite, and sure enough, they too had goose tattoos.  Glesni's had a goose with its neck outstretched, pointing where she'd aim a bow.  It started to sink in that the Goose wasn't going to change its mind.

Not more than 2 hours later, the four of them showed back up at Freelancers Tavern.  The entire back of the tavern had a moment of silence at their height, as they paused in the entryway and looked around.  It was broken by Cathance, who was sensitive to such things, exclaiming, "Guys!  You got taller!"  That broke the tableau and they went up to Tomtom's office.

Tomtom was confused at first, he was 5'11" and was shorter than everyone else, when the day before he'd been taller than everyone but Ondar.  They told him all about it, whilst giving him the Freelancer's Cut, and of course all made sense once the events were shown to be originating from the Goose.

• Ka → lvl 2!