Pirate Monkey River Business

The day after Apastron, Ondar, Kaikoa, and Sabah went up to Arnari's office to see about a mission, and show Sabah the ropes, so to speak.  Timmy and Lorcan trailed behind.

Once in her office, the Freelancers scattered kind of randomly across the room.  Ondar leaned against the wall; Lorcan sat in a chair near the front and composed himself to give Arnari appropriate attention.  Kaikoa took the squishiest chair, and Timmy perched, somewhat uncomfortably, on the edge of a human-sized chair.

Sabah, still unused to chairs, tried one and didn't like it; so he settled on the floor in front of it, cross-legged, looking around the office curiously.  The walls had two big maps, of Cliffshadow and Duquesne; shelves held knick-kacks, curios, and musical instruments.  Arnari sat behind a large-ish mahogany desk with various papers piled upon it.

She gazed at the Freelancers, especially the cross-legged Sabah, and then at her papers, and started reciting the available missions.

• Do not recommend this, but egg collection for House Aldous is available. [to Sabah] this is a standing mission.
• There is probably more "pollution cleanup".

Kaikoa interrupted.  "What is the background on this?" he asked.  Arnari explained about the wizard Gwidion and his alchemical polluting ways, and that the mission now paid 100gp + an uncommon potion each.

"Always down for more things to drink," Ondar said, and Kaikoa chimed in, "I agree with Ondar."  Arnari waited to see if there was more, then continued.

• We thought there were teenagers in the graveyard, but it was skeletons; seems to have been Wendehals.  Freelancers found a map of sorts and Mayor Kaiea wants us to find out more.  Specifically, where is this map.

Kaikoa exclaimed in delight, "Oooo!  Treasure hunt!"  Arnari kept going.

• Before they left Duquesne, Dryali and Tuala found a list of waypoints - the Daystar lotion had been shipping to these waypoints.  A mission to Waypoint Superb found out some was going to Waypoint Alarm.  Alarm, about now, is good for easy transport.

Sabah asked, wonderingly, "Daystar lotion?"  Kaikoa replied, "You don't wanna know."  At Sabah's look, he added, "Buttholes in the sun!"  Arnai closed her eyes briefly, then explained to Sabah, "There is this heresy, they worship the Daystar.  They have this lotion that does deleterious effects on those who touch it."

Saba hesitated, but they'd been living in the wilds, and the pollution sounded bad…?  "Pollution," they suggested tentatively, and the energy in the room changed.  Timmy did not want to do the pollution, but definitely did not want to go to the waypoint.  Kaikoa exclaimed, "Treasure map!" as Ondar declared, "Pollution."

Everyone started arguing except Lorcan who sat there, listening and thinking.  Kaikoa stated, "These are equivalent," and Arnari said, "No."  Then Lorcan asked, "Do you have the map?"

Arnari got out the map, and they all looked at it.  <Narrator voice:  the GM made everyone do a history roll, and David got a nat 20.>  The group… almost recognized the map.

Arnari looked at her papers and noted, "A couple leads:  could research 'elegant lady' associated with Roberto Wendehals before his death.  Also there's a former servant named Bernard."

Faced with the actual map, the group decided to go for pollution cleanup becuase that was far easier than trying to figure out a treasure map.  On the way out, Lorcan picked up 10 rations and added a silk rope to his supplies.

The Freelancers cut from Cliffshadow to the northeast end of Mossey Lake along the treeline.  Ondar led the way with Kaikoa flying overhead on Mordant.

The first day was no problem, they found a good camp, all was well.  The second day was more effort.  While the way did not have a well-defined path, it was still obvious where the Freelancers who'd captured the flying bears had come through.

The third day, the Freelancers had become a little complacent, and almost walked into a giant elk rubbing the velvet off its antlers on a tree.  Ondar held up a clenched fist.  "Everyone stop!"  The giant elk looked freaky, with the antlers dripping flesh and blood.  The Freelancers all backed up slowly and silently, and went around.

The evening found them camping by the edge of the lake.  All was quiet and pleasant.

The next morning, the Freelancers took thought, and determined they would go up to the river fork and take the west fork, exploring along the north bank.  They made good time along Pirates Dream river, and once the river forked, they started going parallel to the bank, but a ways back.

They did not get far before the group on the ground started to notice vegetation damaged by acid.  They saw both acid trailing, and also saplings with acid damage.  Ondar uprooted a relatively undamaged sapling, thinking to use it as a weapon so he could avoid having acid damage his gear.  Sabah started looking around for footprints, but it was pretty clearly an ooze, for all that they did not see andy ooze substance laying around.

Ondar took the lead, followed by Timmy, Sabah, and Lorcan; Kaikoa flew ahead on Mordant, looking for where the trail led.  He started to think there was more than one, the way the trail moved around, and doubled back and such.  He was relieved to see it wasn't interrupted; a flying ooze would just be too much.

Finally, Kaikoa spotted the ooze, about 70' in front of the rest of the Freelancers.  It was ochre-coloured, so blended in well.  He told the others, and Ondar pulled out his longbow.

Ondar became large.  He shot the ooze with his longbow, then invoked his fire rune, causing the ooze to be shackled by ropes of fire.  Then he shot it again.

• The ooze, restrained by the fire, was not faring well; bits crumbled off it, burned and dried.
• Sabah moved closer, a bit behind a nearby bush, and pulled out a sling.  The rock he slung smacked into the ooze, causing more bits to fall off.
• Timmy cast chill touch, the skeletal hand spreading necrosis across the ooze wherever it touched.
• Kaikoa flew down a ways, and had Mordant pick up a big rock, which she then dropped on the ooze.  The rock flattened the ooze, which made horrible sucking sounds as it distended under the weight of the rock and then tried to reform.
  • Kaikoa spit on the ooze.
• Lorcan pulled out his blowgun, and spat a needle at the ooze, which was apparently the last straw, and the ooze melted away into a puddle of gross goo.

The Freelancers relaxed, then they all watched as tiny, horrible monkeys came out from behind various rocks and vegetation.  They had weirdly long arms & legs, and gnashed their teeth at the Freelancers.

There were 5 of these creatures gnashing their teeth; these teeth looked like needles, and their hands appeared to have barbs on the palms and insides of their weirdly splayed digits.

Large Ondar pulled out his vicious rapier (at some point, he'd gotten his scimitar reforged) and closed to the monkey to his south.  His first thrust sank home, piercing the thing; his second attack missed.

• Sabah moved back, and they grappled the monkey behind the Freelancers.
• Timmy moved up to Large Ondar, striking at the monkey Large Ondar had attacked, but he missed.
• Kaikoa flew down and had Mordant attack a monkey, but she missed.  Then he attacked with his magical scimitar, and also missed.
• Lorcan moved to hide behind a log to the south.  While hidden, he started applying poison to his blowgun needles.

The monkey Mordant attacked, attacked her back.  It missed, and attacked again, then in a confusing exchange of blows involving Kaikoa's shield, it fell down, and got back up.

• Another monkey ran to Large Ondar, and missed him twice.
• The monkey nearest Lorcan did not know Lorcan was there.  So it ran to Mordant, and missed her.  Then it tried to attack Kaikoa, and instead of hitting him, somehow compelled him with magic to shout.
  • 'PHEAR ME YOU CLAWED LITTLE BASTARDS!' Kaikoa shouted.
• The monkey Sabah had a hold of attacked its nearest enemy, but missed because Sabah held it tight.  It flailed harder, and instead of hitting him, managed to grow magical scales protecting it from damage.
• <Narrator voice:  the GM's dice suck, to everyone's amusement; that was three nat 1's.>

Large Ondar used his vicious rapier to run through the monkey he'd attacked initially, killing it.  He turned faster than anyone thought someone that large could move, and crit the monkey behind him, killing that one.  He lifted the monkey up, still on his rapier, and flung it at the monkey that was attacking Mordant from her ass, wounding it.

• Sabah shoved the monkey they'd grappled to the ground, prone.
• Timmy ran over to Sabah and stabbed this monkey with his daggar, and was surprised at how little it was hurt.
• Kaikoa slashed at the monkey in front of him with his scimitar, and missed.  Adrenaline surging, he slashed again, and missed.  Mordant tried to beak it, and missed.  Finally she sliced it with her claws.  <Narrator voice:  Vasily also obviously needs new dice.>
• Lorcan popped up from his hiding place, and blew a poisoned needle at the clawed monkey with his blowgun.  It dropped.  He hid again, or so he thought.  <Narrator voice:  Shari rolled a nat 1>

The prone monkey reached out its weirdly long arm and slapped Timmy.  The barbed hand just stuck, so not only was Timmy injured, he was grappled and restrained.  The monkey tried to do the same to Sabah, but failed.

• The monkey still attacking Mordant struck her as well, and even though Kaikoa twisted to interpose his shield, it got through, also grabbing Mordant.  Then it did the same to Kaikoa, which honestly looked really weird.
  • Large Ondar invoked his stone rune on this monkey, and it relaxed its grip, caught in the visions of the stoned.

Large Ondar moved past Timmy, and attacked the prone monkey.  Twice.  With his vicious rapier.  He was unpleased at how little damage it did.  He stepped back, and the monkey could not land an attack on him.

• Sabah pulled out their quarterstaff with their freehand and beat the prone monkey, but that didn't hurt it much either.
• Timmy, restrained and grappled, was very unhappy and cast poison spray on this awful, terrible, scaly monkey, but that didn't do anything either.  Timmy said, "Awwwww!"
• Kaikoa slashed at the stoned monkey in front of him again, shouting, "NO ONE LIKES A CHEEKY MONKEY!" and critfailed.  The scimitar sliced the cinch strap, and Kaikoa was unceremoniously dumped on the ground.  <Narrator voice:  Vasily actually got a -1 on the dex save there.>
  • "KILL THIS FUCKING MONKEY!" Kaikoa shouted at Mordant, and she attacked it and missed.  Mordant was so confused.  Why was Kaikoa on the ground?  Why was he shouting?
• Lorcan thought he was hidden but was not, so the next blowgun needle was not a surprise, but he still hit the stoned monkey on Mordant.

The monkey Sabah was holding prone tried to hit them again, but missed.  It tried to squeeze Timmy, but failed.

• The stoned monkey just sorta stayed stoned.

Large Ondar crit the prone monkey with his vicious rapier, killing it.  He tried to pull that trick of throwing it towards Mordant again, but it fell short.  Then he tried to be intimidating, but that didn't work either, because after all, the creature was enthralled by the stone rune.

• Sabah went up to the stoned monkey and clobbered it with their quarterstaff.
• Timmy thanked Large Ondar for saving him from the weird scaly monkey thing.  Then he cast chill touch on the stoned monkey.  The necrosis spreading from the skeletal hand killed it.
• Kaikoa sat up and shouted, "DIE MONKEY SCUM!"

Nothing else emerged from behind the rocks and vegetation.

Large Ondar turned to Sabah, and observed, "This is where we get our mounts, but these don't seem suitable."  Sabah eyed Large Ondar, and the tiny monkey corpses, and made a dubious face.

Lorcan emerged from his hiding spot, and with Sabah checked out the least damaged corpses:  the weird arms, the barbed hand, the way too many needly teeth.  These were "chokers", which the two of them had heard of, but thought was a weird mutation.  Timmy joined them, and they concluded these weren't originally monkeys, but had started out as chipmunks.

Sabah:  pretty serious mutation.
Lorcan:  still "*munk"
<Timmy headed towards the river.>
Sabah:  Timmy, don't drink anything.
Timmy:  what am I supposed to drink, then?
Sabah:  waterskin.
Timmy:  ...oh.
Timmy:  I was already suspicious, because this is close to the Wizard's tower.

Timmy was looking around, and so was Ondar.  Kaikoa didn't really, as he was distracted by repairing the sliced strap on Mordant's tack.  But Timmy and Ondar found a tree to the east, somewhat hollowed out as chipmunks do, with 5 gems in it, worth 50gp each (2 chalcedony, citrine, jasper, quartz), and various coins worth 203gp.  So, that was something.

The Freelancers wondered about this discovery too, since they were away from the river and definitely off the beaten path.  But they gathered this wealth, and also a forearm and monkey-paw from one of the creatures to show Arnari, and headed back to Cliffshadow.

Four days later found them in Arnari's office, right before dinner, explaining to her where they'd gone and what they found.  Arnari was happy at their return – she'd been worried about Timmy, Lorcan, and especially Sabah – but very unhappy to hear about the monkeys, and how they might have mutated from chipmunks.  They put the monkey's barbed hand on the table, and she looked at it, lifting the fingers gingerly.

When Sabah and Lorcan put forth their theory these mutated from chipmunks, Arnari was dubious.  "It's unclear," she said, "If these monkeys were born that way, or transformed."  But then she became more businesslike.  She counted out 90gp, then handed out potions:  potion of water breathing (Ondar), potion of hill giant strength (Timmy), potion of animal friendship (Sabah), potion of poison resistance (Kaikoa), and philter of love (Lorcan).

As she handed the potions out she said, "Remember, this is more useful in combat," she paused as she handed Lorcan his, then got to Ondar and became emphatic, "In. Combat."

Ondar drank his, and Arnari facepalmed.  It was not the drink he was looking for.

• Timmy → lvl3 following Way of the Four Elements!
• Lorcan → lvl 3 Arcane Trickster!
• Sabah → lvl 2 Fighter!