More Butts Than Minji Can Handle

Aranel had just gotten back from a mission… that she'd not accomplished:  to acquire hippogryph eggs.  She had instead acquired a grown hippogryph, under circumstances she'd kept to herself.  The half-elf found herself unable to settle, and restless to do a mission where she rode the hippogryph.

She saw Petrichor and Minji talking, and Petrichor had gotten a gryphon not quite a full prime prior.  They were talking about a mission, and Aranel swung by and said she'd go, the three of them headed up to ask Arnari about it.

Arnari's office was the same as it ever was:  the half-elf bard was behind her mahogany desk, strumming her harp in a melancholy way.   The desk had its usual pile of papers, although they moved about over time; the mismatched chairs were arranged in rough semi circular rows around the bearskin rug, although the chairs moved about over time.  She was contemplating a paper in front of her, on nice stationery.

Petrichor sat in the front row, a bit off-center to the right, watching Arnari closely.  Aranel sat on the right-hand end of the same row.   Minji prowled around the room, looking at the various knicknacks on the shelves.

Arnari pulled out two worn pieces of paper, then looked at the three Freelancers in front of her.  "You may or may not want–probably not, but will offer them, the eggs–" she sighed.  "You all have mounts, some more recently than others."

Aranel suppressed a smile, and Arnari set her harp and those papers aside.

"Pollution cleanup," Arnari continued more confidently, "go to Pirates River, check out what is there this time.  Find something unnatural, and make it be gone."  Minji turned from her examination of Arnari's shelves.  "Could be fun!" the nekomata declared brightly.

Arnari continued her listing of missions.  "Go to Stormhaven and investigate who was selling Daystar lotion to the Wolfkiss thieves," she said.  She looked at the paper, which wasn't dog-eared at all.  "The Typhoon of the Church of Storms will pay 100 eagles each for this.  I'm not sure what you will find, so best treat it as a stealth mission, best to get info and report back.

"Fifth," the bard continued, looking at the nice stationary she'd been studying when the Freelancers entered, "Sonya Drogo of House Drogo needs someone to investigate her gardens.  She's been having problems because her rose bushes have gotten aggressive."  Arnari leaned back, clearly tempted to pick up her harp again.

Minji <astounded>:  is this not a gardener problem?
Arnari:  it's not an issue for gardeners, but an issue for someone in armour, who can slice them.
Petrichor:  I'm not one for hunting plants.
Arnari:  I'm confident in your punching skills, and ability to dodge bushes
Petrichor:  I'm confident in my ability to dodge anything; but guess will just trust your judgement
Arnari:  perhaps, investigate
Petrichor:  I've got this fire breathing potion
Minji:  would be interesting <pause> I wanted to see what new and interesting things the River would have for us, but aggressive rose bushes seem fascinating.  I've never seen any of this

At this point, Ka walked in.  The rather beautiful human man was dressed in dark clothing and armed with dual rapiers, one of which was jet black.  "Sorry to be late," he announced diffidently, "I was chasing mice."

The others in the room looked at each other and decided to let that go.  Aranel briefly listed the missions Arnari had given them for his edification, then added, "We're to trim Sonya Drogo's rose bushes," a comment she seemed to find amusing.  Ka raised an eyebrow.

Aranel:  prefer rose bushes or Stormhaven.  Slight preference for Stormhaven because I was there when the miscreants were apprehended.
Petrichor:  same preferences
Minji:  River or rose bushes.  I don't think I ever made it to the river
Ka:  rose bushes are Stormhaven?
Petrichor:  no, Stormhaven is Daystar lotion
Ka:  ah.  Much as I like a neatly trimmed hedge, the Stormhaven sounds more interesting.
Petrichor:  Minji, if you don't mind eschewing the River
Minji <sighed>:  it will be okay
Arnari:  so, to recap: you're following onto Wolfkiss Inn, both Aranel and Ka were involved in capturing the miscreants who tan themselves in mysterious and obscene ways.  The Typhoon Vaina is paying for it.  Freelancers did a little bit of interrogation on the way back and found they got their location at a dead drop with a barkeep in Stormhaven at Twin Lamps musical tavern.

Both Aranel and Petrichor got advice from the stablemasters on how much to feed their new mounts while travelling, and decided to buy as they went since there were plenty of places from which to acquire supplies along the way.  For those keeping track, carnivorous mounts eat twice as much as their riders, and cost 5 cats to stable; inn stays for people are 8 cats.

Aranel changed into travelling clothes and then the Freelancers took off.   Visible in the sky, moving about as fast as the Daystar appeared to, the thalassa Rocha arc'd overhead.

The Freelancers travelled fast; they were only limited by Ohenui's speed, which still outstripped anyone walking on the roads.  They were at The Hippogryph's Wing in Cliffgate by nightfall, and left for Haven the following day.  The weather was pleasant, with the occasional mild shower brought about by the nearby thalassa; perfect for Planting.  After camping overnight they arrived in Haven, and stayed at The Local Flavour before continuing on to Stormhaven.  They camped overnight and then arrived at the seemingly small town with low, scattered buildings.  The edge of the skylith was to their south, and a jutting promontory of solid rock was between the edge and the open sky.

Minji was surprised at the small town, but the others were not; most of Stormhaven was underground with openings in Duquesne's sides.  The group headed to The Gallant Gryphon inn, which seemed small until one understood the only thing above ground was an office, stables, and stairs down.

The Freelancers relaxed that night, drawing baths for 2 cats each and enjoying the amenities in the inn.

The next day, the Freelancers moved around Stormhaven at a leisurely pace.  Neither Minji nor Aranel had been there before, although it had certain resemblances in structure to Nojima, the Dark elf city in which Aranel had spent much of her life.  They located Twin Lamps, and learned that this night it would not have bardificery for music, but three separate performers:  chamber music, some dancing, and some ballads.

They hit the tavern after dinner, and decided it was pleasant enough to stay all night and keep an eye out, and busy enough that they wouldn't stand out.  <Narrator voice:  unfortunately for our protagonists, Wendy rolled a nat 1 on deception for this purpose… and Kylie rolled a nat 2.>

But, it was a tavern.  One stays and observes and doesn't stand out by nursing drinks.  Petrichor was not into it.  Aranel, who had done this sort of thing multiple times with Minji, Ka, or both, started applying her most persuasive self to convincing Petrichor to drink.  The surprisingly straight-laced Wild elf kept refusing, clearly trying to avoid offending Aranel without caving into the bard's peer pressure.

Minji did not want these drinks to go to waste, and felt it was her obligation to rescue Petrichor, so she kept drinking them.  Also, she had never experienced being drunk (that she could remember, of course).  In short order she was drunk as a lord, and fell back to the topic that was of overwhelming confusion to her the last time she was on mission in a tavern:  what was it about a human's butt that made it attractive?

The music was danceable and patrons were dancing, so drunk Minji started wandering around the tavern, looking at everyone's butt, and loudly comparing them to either Aranel or Ka.  The latter, having long been used to people finding his ass attractive, took it in stride, and hid his amusement by sipping his drink and watching everyone's reactions.  Aranel and Petrichor were too mortified to notice anything outside of Minji's actions, especially once the nekomata pulled out a notebook and started taking notes on peoples' butts, and their answer to her queries about the matter.

Is it the size that makes it attractive?
Is it the shape?
Is it a ratio to the rest of the body that matters?
Were anyone to glance into her notes, they'd possibly have seen some formulae and geometrical shapes.

Ka noticed someone talking to the bartender, a calm human woman who – despite looking around – was not distracted by the nekomata's antics at all.  Thinking back, he realized he'd not seen her enter the bar.  She had brown hair with highlights, and was tanned.  She passed the bartender a bottle and – was she getting money back? – the bottle was magnum-champagne sized, but it didn't seem to have champagne.

Ka leaned over to Aranel and Petrichor and pointed her out to them; they started watching her.  Minji was on the other side of the tavern looking at peoples' butts, so Ka wandered over there in a way that did not look deliberate.  He was aided in this by the change in music, the dancing set had ended and the bards were setting up for ballads and a sing-a-long.

Ka:  I expect that person <nodded at the woman> might have a unique perspective on your topic
Minji <looked>:  oh oh oh!

The woman, though fit, was not standout like Aranel and Ka (or Minji herself, but she was nekomata).  She was still at the bar as drunk Minji beelined to her.  Minji did not notice the bartender's semi-serious eyeroll; he was obviously expecting some entertainment from what was about to happen.  Ka wandered over there too, positioning himself behind the woman.

Minji <loudly>:  miss?  I have a question for you!  Mind if I ask a question?
Woman <sipped ale>:  sure
Minji:  I'm trying to understand something.  I been asking around and maybe you can help me.  <paused dramatically>  WHAT makes for an attractive butt?
<The woman blinked in surprise.>
Minji:  I was out with my friends, and they were describing, and they were talking about, this person has the most attractive butt, and I've been asking everyone, what does that even mean, to have an attractive butt?
Woman:  well, attraction is a personal thing for some people.  Maybe it's a constant about shape and shapeliness.
Minji:  oh!  Can I take some notes?
Woman <alarmed>:  hopefully not too much.  But, different people are attracted to different things
Minji:  what's attractive to you?
Woman:  well, human… human male… well.  I don't know you well enough to be talking to you about this!
Minji:  I'm not asking WHO, just WHAT

At this point the woman tried to ghost Minji, as one does in a bar to tune out annoying randos.  Minji persisted, until she snapped impatiently, "Look, I'm just trying to enjoy the music."  She deliberately turned away from Minji and focussed on the bards playing.

Minji's ears and tails drooped, and she dejectedly went back to the table with Aranel and Petrichor.  Almost absently, she drained Petrichor's untouched drink, then got up to find the restroom.

The woman, watching the bards, watched Minji, then finished her ale and left.  Ka watched where she went.  Petrichor followed her, and Ka started following Petrichor.  Aranel messaged Ka, "Do you want me to follow, or watch the cat?"  Ka replied, "Back up Petrichor."

So Aranel too, rose and left the bar while Minji was in the restroom.

Petrichor moved quickly and easily through the shadows, following the woman.  Ka and Aranel stayed some ways behind, following Petrichor.

It didn't take long for the woman to lose Petrichor, so she stopped and waited until Aranel and Ka caught up.

Petrichor:  I totally lost them, I'm sorry
Aranel:  we should possibly go back before Minji gets into real trouble
Petrichor:  that's a real risk
Ka:  sounds reasonable to me
Aranel:  we should collect Minji and not hang out any longer

Back at Twin Lamps, Minji emerged from the restroom still drunk but feeling more centered, only to realize not only were her fellow Freelancers gone, but so was the lady with the interesting viewpoint on butts.  She did not have long enough time to become morose before the others collected her and headed back to The Gallant Gryphon.

Slightly concerned, Ka kept an eye open for whether they were followed.  Aranel and Petrichor would have too, but Minji had taken to asking random passerby about their butts, and attractive butts and also columns.  It was still early enough for the Stormhaven passages to be well-populated, which assisted both Minji and Ka in their respective goals.  <Narrator voice:  or not really, as Brian had a nat 20 on perception.>

Petrichor tried to explain to drunk Minji, "Columns can abut things, but don't have butts."  Aranel gave her an odd look.

Finally, they got back to The Gallant Gryphon.  The Freelancers didn't think going from there to Twin Lamps earlier in the evening was that long a journey.

The next morning, the Freelancers gathered in Minji's room to consider what to do.  Minji was curled up on the bed, looking pleased with her prior evening.  She had neither a hangover nor a blackout and her memory of the entire affair was of great fun.

Petrichor:  do we care about who picks it up?
Aranel:  no?
Minji:  will not help us find the source
Ka:  no
Petrichor:  can't interrogate the barkeep without letting them all know the barkeep is burned
Minji:  can you go without me?
Everyone:  no
Aranel:  we could go to another bar, to not seem like Twin Lamps was a purposeful visit.  <frowned slightly>  drink your drinks this time, Petrichor
Petrichor:  Minji got them first!
Minji:  you declined them.  They needed to be drunk

The Freelancers had breakfast, then headed back to the general area of Twin Lamps.  They started looking about the neighbourhood, both for another bar for the evening and also for any sign of the woman, or other tanned people, which do tend to stand out in the underground city.

They did not see any tanned people, but found a tavern, The Golden Thread, and spent the evening there.  Minji did not get drunk; however, they were unable to conceal the vibe that gave away to everyone who cared that they were not casual patrons of the tavern at all.

They headed back to The Gallant Gryphon.

Petrichor:  I wonder if we should look topside, for Daystar worship
Aranel <delighted>:  we can exercise the mounts!

The next morning, the Freelancers headed up to the stables above, to see the weather was fog and light rain that was rapidly burning off.  A perfect day for flying!

The mounts were so pretty, or so all the Freelancers thought.  There was Chin-gu, Minji's bald eagle gryphon; Phoon, Petrichor's golden eagle gryphon; Ohenui, Ka's winged bear; and of course Rainbow, Aranel's courser hippogryph, the fae sheen deceiving the eyes into seeing rainbows.

The Freelancers made a great show of exercising them, and circled the topside city.  They saw various stables, and drying barns for hemp; smokestacks poked from the ground here and there with no buildings attached.  A particularly large chimney rose from the ground from the Great Workshop of Eternal Refinements.

The Freelancers began a game of mock tag, circling higher and noting the road into the city and also various paths leading out from the buildings and smoke stacks.  A logging track ran east, a ways back but parallel to the edge of the skylith; the lumber mills were at the far end of the airship haven.  A smaller track ran west into the woods.  It was too small for regular use.

The Freelancers decided to follow it, still playing mock tag, and trying to not be obvious.  They thought they were succeeding at this last, and good thing too:  the path ended abruptly at a compound surrounded by palisades!  From their vantage point, the playful fliers could see over it of course…

…to the unexpected, very unpleasant view of many persons' butts up in the air, taking the light of Daystar zenith on their assholes and perinea.  Humans, halflings, a dwarf or two, and sagani of those various phenotypes.

It was too many by far to take on, and the Freelancers just veered off playing tag, then scouted the compound from afar.  They saw a barracks, a mess hall, and on the far side of the compound, a building that was obviously for alchemy; it was small, but had multiple chimneys, some spewing questionable smoke into the warm day.  <Narrator voice:  the description made me think of this.>

They played tag all the way back to The Gallant Gryphon, although it was slightly more vigorous.  There the Freelancers settled the tab and immediately headed back to Cliffshadow.

Adrian Bryant, the Church of Storms liaison to the Cliffshadow Freelancers, was unhappy at the news the Freelancers imparted to him.  At their news, the red-haired human in grey robes brought them into his office, where he took notes on their report, and  they sketched out what they'd seen of the compound and provided a map.

Studying it, he nodded again, murmuring about "dealing with these heretics," then paid each of them a string of 100 eagles each, admonishing them to give Arnari the Freelancers cut.  They left him contemplating these paperworks, lightning playing idly around the fingers of his left hand.

• Minji → lvl5!